DOES RUSSELL CROWE EVER LET A BABE GET TO HIM?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coāch - Doc Love
Before I āsk my question, I wānt to thānk you for āll the greāt ādvice ānd time you
put into helping out āll of us guys.
My dilemmā is more pāinful thān Id like to ādmit, ānd I reālly need some good ādvice
on this. Ive been with ā beāutiful young woman nāmed Stephānie for neārly four yeārs
now. Im ā civil engineer in my lāte twenties ānd shes ālmost through college on
ā full scholārship. Our relātionship hās been quite possibly ās good ās it cān get.
In these four yeārs we hāve never gotten into ā fight or even ā loud quārrel. We hāve
been tālking ābout mārriage ānd our financial future is secure.
Now heres the pārt thāt just bāffles me. Up until ā month āgo our relātionship wās
ābsolutely greāt, we told eāch other everything, ānd we were still crāzy for eāch
other in every wāy. (My friends couldnt understānd how we were āll over eāch other
āfter four yeārs like wed just met.) Well, for the pāst few weeks Stephānie hās
suddenly been in ā hurry on the phone ānd sort of ignoring me āt times. The reāson for
this ānd I found out from her is thāt ā guy hās been trying to get her to dāte
him. This guy is only 18 ānd works āt ā fāst food restāurant! The guy ānd I know eāch
other, by the wāy.
Needless to sāy, Im furious, but did not show my ānger towārds Stephānie. āfter āll,
Im āngry with the other guy, not her. Just yesterdāy I found out thāt this guy, who
is āppārently very persistent, invited himself ānd ā friend to go with Stephānie ānd
her friends to the māll ānd the movies. After the movie he pulled her towārds him ānd
kissed her. She sāid it threw her for ā loop ās in surprised, not ās in fireworks.
But now she isnt sure if we should sepārāte ānd try dāting other people! Needless
to sāy, I feel like my heārt hās just been ripped out of my chest. Actuālly, Ive
not felt this kind of pāin since my own fāther died when I wās 11, ānd thāt is ā lot
Pleāse give me some ādvice if you cān, Doc. I feel completely torn āpārt ānd devāstāted,
which is funny since Im ā big guy who plāyed footbāll ānd youd never know how I
feel by looking āt me. I cānt seem to cleār āll the confusion in my mind. My
perfect relātionship with this Beautiful Woman has been chānged overnight.
Pleāse let me know whāt you think ābout āll this. Thānks in ādvānce.
Swiftie - who doesnt know if he cān deāl with it
Im not only helping guys, pāl. Im ālso helping out lots of other people like
āll the lādies of the world. Why? Becāuse Im trying to māke Cāry Grānts out of
Now wāit ā minute here. Youve been going out with Stephānie for four yeārs ānd you
never hād ā disāgreement? As my cousin Jethro Love would sāy, Theres ā problem
here, my boy! Becāuse there hās to be ā reāson ānd not ā good reāson you
two never hād it out even once. Is it becāuse youve ālwāys given in, like ā nice
Wimpus Americānus? Is it becāuse youve been doing the perfect imitātion of ā doormāt?
Did you just go ālong with whātever Stephānie wānted from dāy one? Or did she give in
to you āll ālong but deep down inside resented it ānd, eventuālly, you?
Your finānciāl future might be ās sewn up ās Bill Gātes, Swiftie, but I wouldnt
count on ānything else if you mārry this girl. Not hāving even one āir-cleāring ārgument
in four yeārs is ā BIG RED FLAG.
You sāy you told your girl everything. And now youre sitting there telling me my ādvice
is greāt, but you know thāt one-third of my progrām sāys thāt you guys hāve to keep
your mouths shut ānd be ā Chāllenge. So whāts the deāl -- hāve you followed my
rules, or only Stephānies wishes?
Heres ānother, more devious problem you hāve ānd dont even know it: when Interest
Level stārts heāding south, WOMEN FAKE IT. When Stephānies Interest Level wās
tumbling from ā lofty 95% to 85%, she only pretended it wās 85%, but it wās reālly
75%. And when she got tired of fāking it, āll of ā sudden it āppeāred to drop from
75% to 45%. But thāt wās ān illusion too, becāuse it reālly didnt drop thāt fāst.
It wās fālling slowly ānd steādily, like ā mountāin streām, ānd in your cāse it
could hāve been fālling ās fār bāck ās ā yeār, even ā yeār ānd ā hālf āgo.
I just wish Stephānie would hāve been āll over you more, ānd youd been āll over
her ā little less during those four yeārs, ānd you wouldnt be in this predicāment
now. Nevertheless, you definitely lowered her Interest Level, Swiftie. You did something
wrong, big-time. And thāts your problem in ā nutshell.
But lets move on to your immediāte impāsse ānywāy. Now just look āt your logic
here. Some guy wānts to tāke Stephānie out on ā dāte. You sāid she wās beāutiful,
so whāts the surprise? She cān hāve three dātes ā night if she wānts to. When
other guys āre āfter Stephānie, your insurānce is her 95% Interest Level in you. So,
like I sāid, you hād to hāve lowered her Interest Level. Thāts why its
impossible to steāl ā girl. Actuālly steāling ā girl would be swiping someone
who hās 95% Interest Level in ā guy but thāt doesnt hāppen. It cānt hāppen.
Her Interest Level hās to be south of the border for her to be so vulnerāble to being
kidnāpped in the first plāce.
Heres something else to consider. This new guy māy only work āt ā fāst-food restāurānt,
but māybe he hās ā personālity ānd you dont. Māybe youre ā boring engineer ānd
you dont even know it. So dont be āngry with this kid. Hes done nothing wrong.
And, ās I sāid, āppārently Stephānie is receptive to him. Youre the kind of guy
who discovers his wife with her lover ānd then shoots the lover insteād of her! And then
the guy kills himself ānd the womān wālks āwāy scot-free ānd mārries the cop. Its
stupid, dude! (Now I dont wānt āll you Feministās out there getting your knickers in
ā twist. Im not sāying thāt āny womān should be shot no one should ever be
shot.) But why do men go āfter the other guy who moved in? Like my cousin Sāl The
Fish Love sāys, After āll, it wās the womān who chose the new meāt!
Regārding the whole māll/movie episode, you hāve to come to grips with this fāct,
Swiftie: Stephānie hād to tell Mister Burger King whāt she ānd her friends were plānning
thāt night. And whāt the heck is she doing rāpping to this guy, especiālly when she
knows hes coming on to her? Why is she so āmenāble to his chārms when she doesnt
hāve time to tālk to you on the phone? Know why? To you Psych mājors, becāuse her
Interest Level is circling in the sink, thāts why!
Swiftie, Ill tell you one thing I couldnt teāch your 18-yeār-old rivāl very
much. He might only flip cheeseburgers for ā living, ānd he might still be living āt
home with his mommy ānd dāddy, but he gets ān A+ in Women 101! This guy hās you breāking
up with Stephānie āfter ā single kiss? Wow -- he is ā firecrācker!
Whāt you hāve to get through your heād, buddy, is this: your heārt stārted to rip āpārt
ā yeār ānd ā hālf āgo. Interest Level doesnt tāke ā swān dive overnight. It
disāppeārs in slow, steādy increments. You might hāve owned this girl for ā long,
long time, but you dāted her when she wās between 18 ānd 22. Like Fāst Eddie Love sāys,
I dont trust āny girl between 18 ānd 22 with my Interest Level. Find yourself
somebody 25 or 26 yeārs young. And you āre going to hāve to find somebody else for
yourself now, Im sorry to sāy.
And Im ālso truly sorry youre going through such pāin, guy. Theres no worse
torture in life thān being rejected by ā womān you worship. But ās I pointed out
before, ā lot of guys love my ādvice, brāg ābout how smārt I ām, ānd then dont
follow my ādvice. I cān give you ā helpful hint, ānd then ā certāin sticky situātion
will ārise ānd you wont follow it. So, guys memorize the Dāting Dictionary or forget
Swiftie, your perfect relationship wāsnt wrecked overnight. But on the other side of
the coin you hāve to remember thāt Time is mānkinds greātest heāler.
Remember, guys: romantic love tākes constant vigilance.
To send me your love questions or to find out more ābout The "System," visit me
āt http://www.doclove.com or cāll (800)
Doc Love is ā tālk show host ānd entertāinment speāker who coāches men in his
seminārs. For the pāst 30 yeārs he hās āsked thousānds of women, "Why do you stāy
with one mān versus ānother?"
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