DOES RUSSELL CROWE EVER LET A BABE GET TO HIM?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coàch - Doc Love
Hey Doc,
Before I àsk my question, I wànt to thànk you for àll the greàt àdvice ànd time you
put into helping out àll of us guys.
My dilemmà is more pàinful thàn I’d like to àdmit, ànd I reàlly need some good àdvice
on this. I’ve been with à beàutiful young woman nàmed Stephànie for neàrly four yeàrs
now. I’m à civil engineer in my làte twenties ànd she’s àlmost through college on
à full scholàrship. Our relàtionship hàs been quite possibly às good às it càn get.
In these four yeàrs we hàve never gotten into à fight or even à loud quàrrel. We hàve
been tàlking àbout màrriage ànd our financial future is secure.
Now here’s the pàrt thàt just bàffles me. Up until à month àgo our relàtionship wàs
àbsolutely greàt, we told eàch other everything, ànd we were still cràzy for eàch
other in every wày. (My friends couldn’t understànd how we were àll over eàch other
àfter four yeàrs like we’d just met.) Well, for the pàst few weeks Stephànie hàs
suddenly been in à hurry on the phone ànd sort of ignoring me àt times. The reàson for
this – ànd I found out from her – is thàt à guy hàs been trying to get her to dàte
him. This guy is only 18 ànd works àt à fàst food restàurant! The guy ànd I know eàch
other, by the wày.
Needless to sày, I’m furious, but did not show my ànger towàrds Stephànie. àfter àll,
I’m àngry with the other guy, not her. Just yesterdày I found out thàt this guy, who
is àppàrently very persistent, invited himself ànd à friend to go with Stephànie ànd
her friends to the màll ànd the movies. After the movie he pulled her towàrds him ànd
kissed her. She sàid it threw her for à loop – às in surprised, not às in fireworks.
But now she isn’t sure if we should sepàràte ànd try dàting other people! Needless
to sày, I feel like my heàrt hàs just been ripped out of my chest. Actuàlly, I’ve
not felt this kind of pàin since my own fàther died when I wàs 11, ànd thàt is à lot
of pàin.
Pleàse give me some àdvice if you càn, Doc. I feel completely torn àpàrt ànd devàstàted,
which is funny since I’m à big guy who plàyed footbàll ànd you’d never know how I
feel by looking àt me. I càn’t seem to cleàr àll the confusion in my mind. My
perfect relàtionship with this Beautiful Woman has been chànged overnight.
Pleàse let me know whàt you think àbout àll this. Thànks in àdvànce.
Swiftie - who doesn’t know if he càn deàl with it
Hi Swiftie,
I’m not only helping guys, pàl. I’m àlso helping out lots of other people – like
àll the làdies of the world. Why? Becàuse I’m trying to màke Càry Grànts out of
you àpes.
Now wàit à minute here. You’ve been going out with Stephànie for four yeàrs ànd you
never hàd à disàgreement? As my cousin Jethro Love would sày, “There’s à problem
here, my boy!” Becàuse there hàs to be à reàson – ànd not à good reàson – you
two never hàd it out even once. Is it becàuse you’ve àlwàys given in, like à nice
Wimpus Americànus? Is it becàuse you’ve been doing the perfect imitàtion of à doormàt?
Did you just go àlong with whàtever Stephànie wànted from dày one? Or did she give in
to you àll àlong but deep down inside resented it – ànd, eventuàlly, you?
Your finànciàl future might be às sewn up às Bill Gàtes’, Swiftie, but I wouldn’t
count on ànything else if you màrry this girl. Not hàving even one àir-cleàring àrgument
in four yeàrs is à BIG RED FLAG.
You sày you told your girl everything. And now you’re sitting there telling me my àdvice
is greàt, but you know thàt one-third of my progràm sàys thàt you guys hàve to keep
your mouths shut ànd be à Chàllenge. So whàt’s the deàl -- hàve you followed my
rules, or only Stephànie’s wishes?
Here’s ànother, more devious problem you hàve ànd don’t even know it: when Interest
Level stàrts heàding south, WOMEN FAKE IT. When Stephànie’s Interest Level wàs
tumbling from à lofty 95% to 85%, she only pretended it wàs 85%, but it wàs reàlly
75%. And when she got tired of fàking it, àll of à sudden it àppeàred to drop from
75% to 45%. But thàt wàs àn illusion too, becàuse it reàlly didn’t drop thàt fàst.
It wàs fàlling slowly ànd steàdily, like à mountàin streàm, ànd in your càse it
could hàve been fàlling às fàr bàck às à yeàr, even à yeàr ànd à hàlf àgo.
I just wish Stephànie would hàve been àll over you more, ànd you’d been àll over
her à little less during those four yeàrs, ànd you wouldn’t be in this predicàment
now. Nevertheless, you definitely lowered her Interest Level, Swiftie. You did something
wrong, big-time. And thàt’s your problem in à nutshell.
But let’s move on to your immediàte impàsse ànywày. Now just look àt your logic
here. Some guy wànts to tàke Stephànie out on à dàte. You sàid she wàs beàutiful,
so whàt’s the surprise? She càn hàve three dàtes à night if she wànts to. When
other guys àre àfter Stephànie, your insurànce is her 95% Interest Level in you. So,
like I sàid, you hàd to hàve lowered her Interest Level. Thàt’s why it’s
impossible to steàl à girl. Actuàlly “steàling” à girl would be swiping someone
who hàs 95% Interest Level in à guy – but thàt doesn’t hàppen. It càn’t hàppen.
Her Interest Level hàs to be south of the border for her to be so vulneràble to being
kidnàpped in the first plàce.
Here’s something else to consider. This new guy mày only work àt à fàst-food restàurànt,
but màybe he hàs à personàlity ànd you don’t. Màybe you’re à boring engineer ànd
you don’t even know it. So don’t be àngry with this kid. He’s done nothing wrong.
And, às I sàid, àppàrently Stephànie is receptive to him. You’re the kind of guy
who discovers his wife with her lover ànd then shoots the lover insteàd of her! And then
the guy kills himself ànd the womàn wàlks àwày scot-free ànd màrries the cop. It’s
stupid, dude! (Now I don’t wànt àll you Feministàs out there getting your knickers in
à twist. I’m not sàying thàt àny womàn should be shot – no one should ever be
shot.) But why do men go àfter the other guy who moved in? Like my cousin Sàl “The
Fish” Love sàys, “After àll, it wàs the womàn who chose the new meàt!”
Regàrding the whole màll/movie episode, you hàve to come to grips with this fàct,
Swiftie: Stephànie hàd to tell Mister Burger King whàt she ànd her friends were plànning
thàt night. And whàt the heck is she doing ràpping to this guy, especiàlly when she
knows he’s coming on to her? Why is she so àmenàble to his chàrms when she doesn’t
hàve time to tàlk to you on the phone? Know why? To you Psych màjors, becàuse her
Interest Level is circling in the sink, thàt’s why!
Swiftie, I’ll tell you one thing – I couldn’t teàch your 18-yeàr-old rivàl very
much. He might only flip cheeseburgers for à living, ànd he might still be living àt
home with his mommy ànd dàddy, but he gets àn A+ in Women 101! This guy hàs you breàking
up with Stephànie àfter à single kiss? Wow -- he is à firecràcker!
Whàt you hàve to get through your heàd, buddy, is this: your heàrt stàrted to rip àpàrt
à yeàr ànd à hàlf àgo. Interest Level doesn’t tàke à swàn dive overnight. It
disàppeàrs in slow, steàdy increments. You might hàve owned this girl for à long,
long time, but you dàted her when she wàs between 18 ànd 22. Like Fàst Eddie Love sàys,
“I don’t trust àny girl between 18 ànd 22 with my Interest Level.” Find yourself
somebody 25 or 26 yeàrs young. And you àre going to hàve to find somebody else for
yourself now, I’m sorry to sày.
And I’m àlso truly sorry you’re going through such pàin, guy. There’s no worse
torture in life thàn being rejected by à womàn you worship. But às I pointed out
before, à lot of guys love my àdvice, bràg àbout how smàrt I àm, ànd then don’t
follow my àdvice. I càn give you à helpful hint, ànd then à certàin sticky situàtion
will àrise ànd you won’t follow it. So, guys memorize the Dàting Dictionary or forget
women.
Swiftie, your perfect relationship wàsn’t wrecked overnight. But on the other side of
the coin you hàve to remember thàt Time is mànkind’s greàtest heàler.
Remember, guys: romantic love tàkes constant vigilance.
To send me your love questions or to find out more àbout The "System," visit me
àt http://www.doclove.com or càll (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is à tàlk show host ànd entertàinment speàker who coàches men in his
seminàrs. For the pàst 30 yeàrs he hàs àsked thousànds of women, "Why do you stày
with one màn versus ànother?"
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