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Doc Love Success Coach

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Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Dear Doc,

Your coaching has really helped me transform my past Wimpus Americanus personality more towards being a gentleman. Though I have made too many mistakes that scared off some terrific women, I have put those behind me and have moved onto better adventures.

Here's some key advice for other guys who are working on getting their psyche toward becoming a gentleman. It is important that newly transformed gentlemen avoid meeting women in situations where there is too much competition. If there is too much competition, a gentleman's confidence will take a hit unless he savors a difficult challenge.

Here are, in my opinion, the four BEST places to meet women with virtually NO competition.

1) Volunteer Activities: Every volunteer activity I have participated in for the past five months has always been 90 percent women and 10 percent men. A woman's interest level will rise when she sees a guy volunteering his time for others.

2) Singles Cruises: I've been on three singles cruises, and the ratio has always been 75% women and 25% men. All the women I've talked to complained that most of the men they meet on single's cruises are either too soft and polite or are egomaniacal jerks. So, being a gentlemen and a Challenge will attract more women than any guy could shake off.

3) Any aerobics class in athletic clubs, especially the advanced classes. The ratio has always been about 90 percent women and 10 percent men. Most times I was the ONLY guy in the class, at least here in the Midwest. But here is an important tip: Do NOT take a spot in the front two rows.

Most women are "territorial" in aerobics classes. If a gentleman takes a woman's favorite workout spot in an aerobics class, that is Taboo. Also the front two rows are reserved for the "inner circle" group that is like a high school clique. YIKES! These women are rarely givers and are takers with a capital T. Usually the center left or center right of class is the best location to work out and all the women I've met in these locations have all three key characteristics you say to look for (integrity, flexibility and giving).

4) Wine tasting clubs: The ratio has always been 75 percent women and 25 percent men. And as you can imagine, it's incredibly easy to meet and talk to any woman in this kind of situation.

Hope you and your readers find this helpful. Thank you again for all your advice and coaching.

Johnny - who wants to help his fellow men

Hi Johnny,

Thanks. My readers can definitely benefit from the research that you've done out there in the trenches.

If you're a single man and you want to find a mate, one thing is for certain. You ain't gonna meet anyone sitting at home glued to your computer terminal indulging your addiction to SimCity 4. That's right, guy. How are you ever going to find the woman of your dreams if you lie there sprawled on the couch night after night eating cheese nachos and watching reruns of The Howard Stern Show? You've got to get up off your gluteus maximus, Dude, shower and shave and head out there into the real world where the real women are.

Trolling for babes is always work to a greater or lesser degree, but what I want you guys to do is to work smart not hard. Johnny has some great points here. Why beat your head against the wall trying to meet women at bars and nightclubs where men outnumber women, the women have all their defenses up and you can't hear each other talk anyway?

Why go anywhere to meet women where the odds are stacked against you? Better to go places where you've got much more than a just a fighting chance. In fact, why not put yourself in environments where meeting women is as easy as finding hay in a haystack.

Then, within the parameters of places that are sure fire and user-friendly, find, what they refer to in the in the record business as; "your groove." By that I mean, the particular places and situations where you can easily meet women and where you also feel relaxed, confident, comfortable and true to your own interests.

For example, Yoga classes are a great place to meet women where the odds are stacked in your favor, but you may hate the idea of having to contort yourself into the shape of a pretzel on the chance that you might meet your soul mate. So don't be a martyr. Find a different venue that's overstocked with females, like a Latin dance class for instance, where you can meet babes and enjoy yourself at the same time.

Now, Johnny, let's go over your list.

Volunteer Activities. This is, indeed, a great place to meet women. Not only will females outnumber males, but here you will also find women with character and integrity who are true givers. To you Psych majors, Gold Diggers don't do volunteer work.

Singles Cruises. In this environment, of course, you will need to suspend the 'wait a week before you call and ask her out strategy'. But you can still work Challenge by lying low for the first night. Then take every Buying Signal that you get from any girl that you're interested in as an opportunity to close, close close. (We're working in a limited time frame here.) The idea is that in this specialized situation, you go on ahead and go for it physically, but verbally, as always, you hold back and remain a Challenge.

Aerobics Classes. Two things: As difficult as it may be to do, look only into the eyes of the women you meet there and do not look at their bodies. (You'll be the first guy who ever did that.) And, don't try to strike up conversations with any of the women there. Just keep showing up for every class and be cool. Once you get your time in, the ones who have interest in you will approach YOU.

Wine Tasting Clubs. The women you meet her will be more intellectual, classy and cultured than the average female that you'd meet in a bar. (That's a good thing unless you go for the more earthy type.) And, as you pointed out, Johnny, the conversation will be flowing as freely as the wine.

Remember, guys: always work efficiently not hard.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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