THE INS AND OUTS OF SPEED DATING
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
For several months I have enjoyed reading your weekly columns. I would also like to say
"thank you" to all the contributors to your column who continue to practice and
prove to other readers that your philosophy really works.
I would like to make a small contribution to all the Doc Love readers if I can. I know
that there are a lot of new students to "The System" that may get discouraged
when they try Internet Dating. I like to call Internet Dating "The Rat Race."
Why? Because I've discovered that on the Internet, in the 26 to 40 age group, there are
usually about seven men for every one woman. This means that the woman has more men to
"choose" from than she can ever go out with.
An important key for the man who is new to your principles, is to only be going to places
where the odds are at least even, otherwise he will get discouraged.
One new dating phenomenon I discovered that actually seems to be working in men's favor is
"Speed Dating. It's something that appears to be growing all around the country. It's
kind of cross between musical chairs and a Chamber of Commerce mixer as a way of having a
quick few minutes to meet potential new romantic partners. I was skeptical at first
thinking, "Oh Great! I have to get to know if I like a woman in less than three
minutes and there are going to be more men than women there, as usual."
Well, the reality was FAR different from my preconceptions. The four different Speed
Dating events that I participated in were more like 65% women and 35% men. Yes, men, 65%
of the participants were women. Not bad huh?
It's tough to get a good read on another person in less than three minutes, but if one
applies your principles in the Speed Dating situation, Doc, it can be a favorable and
enjoyable experience. Some of the guys I've seen at these Speed Dating events are very
nervous, wondering how they're going to make a good impression on that cute girl. Some are
worried about saying the wrong thing to the girl to the point of having "the
jitters" which of course is going to work against them. Again, they just need to
study and master your materials
But anyway, Doc, I think that Speed dating, overall, is a fun and easy way to meet and
check out a lot of different women without having to do much work at all. You certainly
don't need to do much driving. I guess what I'm saying is that as far as time and money
goes, it's very cost effective. So what do you think Doc?
Chad - who wants to spread the word
Thanks for sharing your experience and your insights.
Here are some things to keep in mind when participating in a "Speed Dating"
ONE) Take charge of the conversation. You've got only three to five minutes initially. So
smile, keep it light and positive. Stay off any heavy subjects and try to crack a couple
of good jokes if you can. Ask her interesting questions about herself, not the usual
cliched ones that every other guy will be asking, In fact, make it a policy that you will
not ask her any questions like the standard, "So what do you do?"
Instead, be different. Be clever. Try to work in a taste of the kind of zany and
outrageous things that Jim Carrey might say or do. And, then, carefully observe how she
responds to your playfulness and humor. It will tell you A LOT about your compatibility
and chemistry with her.
And by the way, if SHE happens to start in with some of those heavy, inappropriately
personal questions (You know the kinds of questions I'm talking about: "So, have you
ever been married? Why not? What kind of salary do you make? How many kids do you want to
have? What kind of a relationship do you have with your mother?" etc. etc. etc.)
Don't get flustered, pressured or intimidated. Simply use humor once again to diffuse the
situation. Remember, this isn't a courtroom. It's a supposed to be an easy, fun and
leisurely way of just getting to know people.
TWO) Always observe whether or not she asks you any questions about yourself. If she
doesn't ask anything about you, you're dead in the water. But don't despair. It's only
three minutes before you move onto the next speed-date participant. So if she obviously
has no Interest in you, crack a quick, vaguely facetious joke or just say anything to get
her to laugh. Make the best of it by asking her something like, "So do you have any
girlfriends for me?"
THREE) Some women will wear very revealing low cut blouses to test you. They'll want to
see if you'll pant and drool and lose self-control. Don't fall into this trap. Remain a
Challenge. Look only into her eyes and remember to smile when you do. You'll gain points
by not reacting, especially because every other guy will be ogling her,
After each Speed Date Event, keep track of each woman you interacted with and those you
sensed had high Interest Level in you. Also objectively assess your own level of interest
towards each them
Soon you will receive an email with the results of the event. When you get the results do
NOT email or immediately call any of the girls who have picked you. Follow "The
System" and wait week to call. All the other guys she said yes to will call her
immediately and set up a date as quickly as they possibly can. Let Them! Their low level
of self-control will take them out of the running in no time.
If there was a hot girl there that you really liked but the e-mail results revealed that
she did not choose you and you still think that you want to see her again, do not attempt
to contact her. You are seriously wasting your time. She may be drop-dead gorgeous and she
may ring your bell like a fire alarm. But if it ain't there, it ain't there. And no trick
or hypnotic strategy is going to make the magic happen.
If for some reason you received an email indicating that NONE of the women you chose at
the Speed Dating event wanted to see you again, don't get discouraged. Go back and replay
Doc Love's CD's, re-read "The System." Or, as my Uncle Jethro Love would say,
"Boy, you gotta get yourself back up on that there saddle and take another crack at
Remember, guys: winners don't quit.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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