WHEN IS A BROKEN DATE NOT BAD NEWS?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
Dear Doc,
Hi, my name is Ryan and I have been studying and practicing your principles for the last
year and a half, with the dedication of a law school student who's determined to graduate
at the top of his class. I love the truth, and I recognize it when it's staring me in the
face. Doc, as far as the understanding women goes, I am convinced that you are The Master.
Every single page of your Dating Dictionary is filled with profound wisdom, wisdom that
should be part of the interpersonal-relationships curriculum for young men in every high
school/and or college in America.
God bless you. The truth you've brought to my awareness has decidedly set me free. I will
never go back to my old habits that only kept me in perpetual confusion and rejection. I
cannot thank you enough for the contribution you've made to my life.
Because I've been practicing and applying "The System" so diligently for over a
year now, I have been able to successfully court, connect with and establish an amazingly
positive, loving, and fun filled relationship with a wonderful woman, Cynthia. We've been
going out for over eight months now, and during that entire time she has never once done
or said anything that you, Doc, would call a "Red Flag." She's a sweet, loving
giver with high integrity and a low maintenance attitude.
Here's the little glitch I ran into with her last week. As I said, Cynthia has never given
me any kind of a problem. She's never nagged me, never pouted, never criticized me. She's
always kept her word. She always shows up on time. She's a great cook. I mean I could go
on and on and on about all her wonderful attributes.
But last Wednesday night, an hour and a half before I was supposed to pick her up for a
dinner date at one of the nicest new restaurants in town (It took me three weeks to get
the reservation), she called and canceled, or as you'd say it, Doc, she BROKE THE DATE.
This was something she has never ever done before. Her excuse? Her dog "Fido"
(Yep, that's his real name.) had started to limp in a "strange way," and she
needed to take him to the Vet "immediately" to find out what was wrong.
The thing is, Cynthia didn't say she was sorry or suggest another night when we could have
our dinner. She was just very abrupt and said she had to go and then hung up. This was
very unusual behavior for her, and it left me a bit baffled.
So, Doc, What happened. Did I do something wrong? I know what a big deal you make out of
broken dates. Did I miss a red flag back in the earlier stages of our relationship? Or,
does it really just mean nothing because we have so much time in together? Please, help! I
need some perspective.
Ryan - who is absolutely baffled
Hi Ryan,
Well, I'm glad to hear that you've been so dedicated in your study of my principles. And
it's good that you have such a deep appreciation of the profound signifigance of a woman's
breaking a date. Here's the deal. If Cynthia had pulled this "My doggie's sick"
number on you at the last minute during your first couple of months of courtship, then you
would have had to blow her off, rip up her phone number and flush it down the commode.
As you probably already know, Ryan, in the context of a new relationship where deep trust
is yet to be built, such recklessly rude behavior on a woman's part would have spelled
nothing but disaster. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time when a woman throws you a
curve ball like that in the early stages of dating, it is indeed a Big Blazing Red Flag,
and it's nothing to be taken lightly. After committing such a serious transgression, a
woman can redeem herself and put herself back in the game only by doing something
extra-extraordinary. To you psych majors, she has to suck up to you, big time.
She would have to, for instance, insist on driving over to your house, preparing you a
five course gourmet dinner and then massaging you from head to toe for a couple of hours
as an obsequious plea for forgiveness and understanding (Of course this type of thing
happens only once out of a hundred cases, and that may still be too high a number.)
But because you've had eight solid months of love and trust and affection in with this
gal, we must look at this particular situation in a different light. In this case you're
not going to cut her off, Ryan. Yes, you're going to cut her some slack.
I think that Cynthia was in a highly emotional state when she called you and that she was
sincerely worried about her little doggie. Her doggie to her is like her child. That's the
way most of us Americans relate to our canine companions, which is very different from the
way that some folks in other parts of the world do where stir-fried puppies are regularly
offered on the lunch menu of many fine restaurants.
You mentioned, Ryan, that Cynthia is a flexible gal. Well, now it's your turn to be
flexible. Let's not look at this episode as a red flag. She did nothing wrong, and you did
nothing wrong. My advice is to just forget about it and move on. You've got too much
quality time in with this lady to make a big deal out of this. To do so just wouldn't make
sense.
Now, if this kind of behavior on her part starts becoming a pattern so that every three or
four weeks she slams you with another whammy, then we've got trouble in paradise. But for
now, Ryan, stay cool and don't drive yourself crazy trying to analyze the meaning of the
"Fido Emergency Freakout." No, just enjoy your great relationship with Cynthia.
If we get a red flag down the road, then we'll deal with it when and if it comes. But
don't walk around anticipating something negative. Remain positive and enjoy the great
relationship that you have.
Remember, guys: if you love her dog, she will love you.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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