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Doc Love Success Coach

New Article Every Thursday



Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hi Doc,

About three weeks ago my girlfriend, Tina, who is amazingly beautiful, decided that she needed time away from me. When she told me, it came as a total shock.

Let me first tell you that I was able to get a girl of this magnitude because of your "System" and the tips on But then something happened. I got cocky and tossed your book, The Dating Dictionary, into the corner. I stopped reading the articles, I stopped practicing the techniques, I stopped using the principles. In other words, I kind of got lazy and slapped the hand that fed me.

Two weeks ago Tina and I decided to actually break up. Well, I was devastated and I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered you, Doc, and I knew that you would always provide the right answers and the true direction.

Well, I got back to your book and the website last week, refreshed myself on your ideas, and it's worked! Now Tina keeps calling me. She wants to hang out with me and do things with me again, while I'm the one who doesn't really care now. I'm ready to walk away, but on the other hand I want to stay with her -- it really doesn't matter to me.

What do you think I should do, Doc? I do love Tina, but do you think that the way I think about her should change because she asked for time apart? That's the part that really bothers me. By the way, breaking up ultimately was my idea -- I learned it from you, Doc. I won't take that crap. Please advise. Thanks a million.

John - who's baffled about what he wants to do

Hi John,

First of all, I wouldn't exactly say that you slapped the hand that fed you. My friend, you had what I would call a case of "Big-Shot-Itis." As my cousin, Brother Love, likes to put it: "Pride cometh before a fall." What you actually did was become a sinner by falling into a state of PRIDE, which, as you know, is one of the seven deadlies. And you didn't even realize it. If you had stayed humble and aware of what you were doing, pal, you wouldn't have taken the dangerous chance of abandoning the methods that won you your success with Tina in the first place.

Every day when you open up the Wall Street Journal or Forbes magazine you can see a glittering example of some guy (or gal) who's lost it like you did, John. Ever hear the names Martha Stewart or Kobe Bryant? Their downfalls are the direct consequence of their over-inflated egos and lack of self-control. You can just hear them saying to themselves, "I can get away with this!" They puffed themselves up like balloons until someone came along with a pin.

And you, too, thought you could get away with jettisoning the solid, universal principles that made Tina go for you in the first place, didn't you, John?

There are three types of losers in the world as far as I'm concerned. The first is the type who buys The Dating Dictionary and then returns it. Think of it -- all this essential, time-proven Truth in his hands, and he goes and drops the ball. The second type of loser is the guy who reads the book once or twice, then throws it into the corner and thinks he has it -- but he doesn't. To you Psych majors, it requires diligent application. And the third type of loser is you, John -- the guy who practices, who does everything I tell him to do, and then, when he lands the woman, goes back to being the shlump he was before he had any clue which end was up.

John, I want you to care for Tina. On the other hand, a girl has to know that you can leave her. When a girl knows she owns you, it's the antithesis of Challenge. My gut tells me you weren't a Challenge to Tina anymore.

But John, you shouldn't even be asking questions about Tina. You should be asking questions about yourself. Such as, why did you end up turning her off when you were off to such a promising start? Women with 95% Interest Level don't want any space. They want to be next to you. They want to be all over you. But Tina's Interest Level dropped somewhere along the line. So what you have to do now is go back to the values that got you there, if it's not already too late to repair the damage done. And there's something more important -- you also have to pinpoint where you lost her. Which principles did you violate to get into trouble? Go back and study what you did wrong, then figure out how to get back to the values that won you your beautiful girl.

John, you wouldn't have had to break up and "take that crap" about needing space from your girl if you were doing the right stuff throughout the relationship. Because when you do the right things throughout a relationship -- stay Confident, in Control, and a Challenge -- there is no crap to take. There's just high Interest Level, and she can't keep her hands off you.

Remember guys, she doesn't want you as you are, she wants you with "The System."

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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