DOES ROBERT REDFORD EVER TELL HIS DATE ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND?

DOES ROBERT REDFORD EVER TELL HIS DATE ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND?

Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I don’t imagine you get many letters from men as old as me, and maybe you won’t be interested in my situation, but here goes anyway.

I am in my seventies, retired, widowed for five years, with no attachments until recently. Now I may have too many. On a group tour to Las Vegas last fall, I met woman number one, Meredith, and we immediately felt a mutual attraction, spent a lot of time together on the tour and even became quite romantic by the time the excursion was over. She lives rather far away, in the Midwest, while I live in California, and we have talked weekly on the phone since our return to our homes and plan another trip together in the spring. Meredith is liberal and broadminded, and has suggested that our relationship is not full-time but for only when we meet on our trips.

Now, out of the blue, comes woman number two. Cassandra and I actually met 18 months ago on another group tour, sat together for some meals, and have exchanged occasional e-mails since. We did not get romantically close, as I did with Meredith. Last week Cassandra sent me a greeting card and asked if I would be interested in joining her -- “separate rooms” -- for a group tour to some mutually chosen place later this year. Perhaps foolishly I e-mailed back an agreement and now there have been a flurry of possible destinations back and forth.

But Doc, suddenly I am worried. I don’t want to risk losing either of these two wonderful women, and so I am afraid of telling one about the other. If my relationship with Cassandra looked like it was becoming deeper, I would not be morally able to handle both of them simultaneously.

So my question is this -- how much should I tell one woman about the other? This might seem to be something of an old-fashioned question to ask, but it’s important to me. I thank you for your consideration, and hope you can help.

Hill - who can’t believe he’s in the position at his age

Hi Hill,

Actually, I get letters from lots of men in their seventies and eighties. Once I even got a letter from a fellow who was 92 and having a tough time making up his mind about which of four women he should take on a cruise to Hawaii. So heck, you’re still a kid.

And what’s great about you guys is that you’re still breathing, walking, talking and you still love women! One thing we know about you, Hill, is that you’re not over the hill! And keep this in mind -- when you can say you have too many attachments with a straight face, you know you’re in heaven. So count your blessings.

I appreciate your telling me about your mutual attraction with Meredith. But what you really should be looking at is her attraction to you -- only. Because my principles stress the reality that your attraction toward her doesn’t mean anything. Don’t get me wrong, guys; I want you to like the girl. But don’t ever forget what’s really the most important number in the equation, and that’s her Interest Level in you.

I’m shocked that Meredith doesn’t want a full-time relationship with you. Are you telling me she just wants to use you for your body? Is that what’s really going on here? In that case, I would just tell her that you’re a churchgoing man and you don’t believe in that kind of stuff. You’re nobody’s boy-toy. (In the meantime, keep her on the line. She sounds like a lot of fun.)

Before we get to your major question, Hill, let me just point out something great that’s going on here and that all you guys should pay close attention to. You’re really working these tours like a pro. Some guys go to Yoga class, some guys get on Match.com, and some guys take cooking classes, and some guys climb mountains with the Sierra Club. I always tell you guys that you have to find something you’re good at if you want to meet women, and my man; you’re the master of the tour buses. Congratulations to you. You’ve found what works for you. That’s one of the keys to becoming a winner with the girls – and much older girls, too.

Now, let’s get to the heart of the matter. Buddy, you don’t have to risk losing either of these two wonderful messengers of love from above. And you know what? We’re going to help you snag women numbers three and four! Because you need the practice. And you have to exhaust all the possibilities before you get the right one.

So why in the world would you tell one about the other? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Do you think James Bond would ever do that in one of his movies?” You know the answer as well as I do. Then why would you even think about doing it? (And remember, you and Sean Connery are the same age!)

If I gave you a million bucks, would you be able to handle two women at the same time then? To you Psych majors, you tell one woman ZERO about the other. Yours isn’t an old-fashioned question, Hill – it’s a brainwashed question. Turn off Oprah and all the other female love doctors who don’t have men’s best interests at heart. I’m the only love doctor out there who’s looking out for you.

Here’s something to chew on: when do women tell you about their other boyfriends? When it suits them, right? When their Interest Level is on its way south of the Tropic of Cancer, right? Hasn’t it dawned on you that Meredith has a reason for insisting that your relationship be kept part-time only? Don’t be a sap, Hill. You’ve got too much going for you.

So have a good time on your trip to Branson – or New Orleans, or Chicago, or wherever you end up going -- with Cassandra. And you don’t have to fret about her getting her hands on you, because you’ll be in separate rooms.

Remember, guys: if you’re breathing, there’s hope.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"