THE KEY TO WOMEN IS MYSTERY
Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I'm very impressed with your relationship course.
Before I got your information, I was doing all kinds of stupid things with women. Man, I
mean I didn't have a clue. And even worse, I didn't know that I didn't have a clue. You've
really opened my eyes and I've really got to thank you big time for that.
There is one point in your program that I just can't quite get a grasp on though, at least
not yet. It's really a philosophical issue. OK this is it: If the man is the aggressor,
the initiator, the risk taker in the dating dance, then how is it possible for the woman
to see him as a mysterious - Challenge as you say to be?
If I ask a girl for her phone number, then that tells her that I'm interested. If I try to
kiss her, then she really knows I'm interested. At this point she is no longer wondering
if I'm interested or not because I've made it clear by my actions that I am.
I understand that when I don't tell a girl how much I like her then I'm being a Challenge
in that way. But If I'm the one who's doing all the calling, driving to pick her up,
planning the date, paying for everything and making all the moves for intimacy, doesn't
all that spoil any sense of mystery/Challenge that I've tried to build? How am I able to
be a Challenge when I'm the one (not her) who has to put myself on the line? I think you
see what I'm getting at.
So what do you say to all that Doc?
Derek - who needs to understand
Yes, it's true that it's the guy who has to walk up to the girl, make her laugh and ask
her out. That's the way it is. What a wonderful world it would be if all any guy had to do
was show up and look good and women would consistently risk rejection to approach him and
ask him out. But despite all the clamoring for "equality" by the Feministas over
the past decades, very little has changed as far women sharing some of the risk of
rejection in the dating game. Why would women volunteer to be the ones to put their egos
on the line when they don't have to?
But since it is our job as men to be the aggressors, we should be aware that we have
choices when we're out there in the trenches. When we're approaching a woman, we can come
on like a hungry Pitbull, or we can come on with class and confidence.
Yes, Derek, when you as the man take the risk to ask a woman out, you ARE making it clear
that you want her. There's no mystery in that. But you don't have to let her know that you
haven't had a date in six months while you're asking her out. And believe me, there are
plenty of guys out there who have that kind of desperate air about them when they're
The key to success with women is to reveal the least amount of interest possible while
you're taking action to close the deal. To you Psych majors, keep your mouths shut about
your feelings and insecurities.
For instance, you're the one who has to walk up to the woman and strike up a conversation.
But once you do, you can wait for her to ask YOU for your name first. You can also refrain
from telling her how hot she looks even if she makes Cindy Crawford seem homely.
You're the one who has to ask her for her phone number, but there's no law that says you
have to call her within 48 hours like every other horn dog would.
You're the one who has to call her up and ask her out. But when you call you don't have to
say "Hello Caprice, this is Derek, we met at Sally Smith's party last week and we had
a nice conversation about environmental awareness." Instead you can simply say,"
Hey Caprice, it's Derek" and then shut up and see if she has a clue as to who you
And you're the one who goes for that first kiss, when you hope the timing is right, but
you don't have to tell her how much you like her when she reciprocates.
So Derek, the fact is that you can make all the moves necessary to meet a girl, get her
out on a date and connect with her and still be a Challenge.
Remember, guys, always play it cool even though you are dying on the inside.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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