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Doc Love Success Coach

New Article Every Thursday



 Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Dear Doc,

I've really been enjoying your column. Before I found you I had been taking the advice of several other love doctors, almost all of them female. (It seems that most of the relationship "experts" in the general media, are women.) And I've got to tell you that I was given a lot of bogus information. Now that I understand your "System," I realize that many of these so-called "experts" were totally wrong about all kinds of things. It's actually painful to see how much time I've wasted following their advice.

In the interest of helping my brothers out there who are trying to understand women, I am including some "tips" from one particular female love doctor who really had me off on the wrong track. (I guess it's probably better to not mention her real name - maybe we can just call her Dr. Lu Lu) Maybe you would like to publish this and then point out the misconceptions that she's selling. I think I know what's wrong with her logic but I may have missed something. Check it out:

Things a Man Should Do to Get a Second Date
By Dr. Lu Lu Ph.D.

1. If you are nervous, don't try to hide it. Women adore men who are aware of their own emotions and who are not afraid to share them. A simple, "I have to admit that I feel a little nervous tonight" is endearing. Also, once you acknowledge your own anxiety, it tends to lessen.

2. Give her a genuine compliment, but make sure that it cannot be interpreted in a sexual way. It is risky to tell a woman on a first date that she has sexy lips. It's far better to tell her that she has a pretty face. A man who cannot keep his sexual desires under wraps on a first date may turn off many women.

3. Touch her heart. Bring her a small gift if you can think of something cute, clever or profoundly simple (e.g., a toy for her dog or a few flowers).

So, go ahead and rip into her for me will ya Doc? Thanks.

Rufus - who wants to help spread your wisdom.

Hi Rufus,

Thanks, guy. You've given us a fantastic example of some of the horribly dangerous information that's out there.

Let's take apart these "tips" that you sent me, one at a time.

First of all, if you are out on a date and you find yourself feeling nervous, you should certainly acknowledge it (inwardly) and you should keep your mouth shut about it. Deal with it, but don't tell your date that you feel nervous. Just that one simple confession could put the kibosh on any potential romance.

The first date is like a job interview where you must come off as cool and confident. Many of us are nervous on a first date, women included. But why bring it up? It's a negative, and by disclosing it you're putting yourself down. It may lessen your anxiety to get it off your chest but doing so will lower her Interest Level in you. You can "share your emotions" AFTER she's fallen in love with you.

Next, let's look at compliments. One compliment per date is OK. That's it. And it certainly should not have any sexual connotations whatsoever. But I absolutely do not recommend telling a hot looking woman that she has a pretty face. You gain nothing by it. It does not raise her romantic Interest Level in you. She's hears that same compliment about fifteen times a day -every day - and when you tell her that she's pretty, you automatically get added to the list of salivating suitors who have said the same thing to her over and over again. Your job is to make her think you are different.

Who ever said it is the man's responsibility to be the one who gives the compliments. Do female love doctors ever encourage women to give a man a compliment on the first date???

Let's go to the last "tip" about gifts. Here Dr. Lu Lu isn't pedaling any half-truths. Her advice on this subject is totally, miserably deluded. As my Uncle Jethro Love says: "If you're going to bring a girl a gift on the first date, you might as well just write the word "CHUMP" on your forehead."

When you show up with a gift on a first date, you come off as a lonely loser who is desperately trying to make a good impression. Gifts can come after sixty days once a relationship has been established. But gifts should never be used as a ploy to raise Interest Level. Besides, any gift coming from you has no meaning to her since you are basically a stranger.

Remember, guys, beware of false love doctors.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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