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Doc Love Success Coach

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 Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Dear Doc,

As I've been reading your column over the last several weeks I've learned a great deal. Especially about the many unacceptable ways that some women treat good men and how guys let them get away with all kinds of unloving and disrespectful behavior.

Now, when I look back at all my dating adventures over the last ten years, I can see that I was getting the short end of the stick so many times. I realize that I put up with all kinds of crap because I was just so happy that a cute girl was spending time with me.

Even if a girl broke a date with me I'd keep calling her back for more abuse. In fact, I hate to admit it, but once I even drove for an hour and a half to pick up a girl who had already stood me up once before. She wasn't there the second time either, big surprise huh?

And now I can also see that more than once I wound up in a relationship with a girl who seemed to really like me but actually had what you call low, or at best mediocre, Interest Level.

But what's even more depressing is that now I can see that I may not ever have had a girlfriend who had a truly high level of romantic interest in me. I don't think I even know what that looks like. Pretty pathetic I guess. But I know I'm going to be more successful in the future because of the new awareness that I have, thanks to you and "The System."

Could you just clarify something for me? How can you tell when a girl has authentic high Interest Level? What kinds of behaviors would she be exhibiting? How could I tell that her interest Level was really high and that she wasn't just playing the part, using me, and biding her time until Mr. Jerk comes along? What kinds of things should I be checking for to know that she's for real?

Stanton - who wants to know what love, is supposed to really feel like

Hi Stanton,

Thanks for your candor. It took guts to write that letter and I appreciate your compliment.

It's great that you understand that there is a difference between low and high interest. Many guys don't even know the difference between a woman with high Interest Level and a woman with low Interest Level. Why? Because they look only at their own feelings.

The primary prerequisite for a woman to qualify as a potential romantic partner is that she must have high Interest Level. This means that she has to have deep romantic feelings for you. She has to really, really dig you and think of you as her hero, her dream come true. If her Interest in you is not at a high level, then you are not going to be happy being with her. You're going to have to work hard for little reward, and what good is that? Love should be light and easy. And only a woman whose Interest Level is in the 90's (on a consistent basis) is worth being with for the rest of your life.

More often than not, when a woman has strong feelings for a guy, her Interest Level is high from the get go. To you Psych majors, she kisses on the first date. Soon after she meets him, she 'knows' that he's "boyfriend material." A different woman might meet the same guy and think he was a total dud. But somehow, this one particular guy rings this gal's bell, and since he does, she lets him know it, both verbally and physically. Why? Because she doesn't want to confuse him, or abuse him. She wants to make him happy.

Ok Stanton, so how does she let him know that she digs him? When a woman has found her knight in shining armor, how does she treat him? What are the signs of high interest?

Here is a partial list of the kinds of things that she must do on a consistent basis in order for her to have an authentic high Interest Level in you:

She takes the initiative to stand or sit close to you.
She compliments you frequently.
She touches you.
Her eyes sparkle when she looks at you.
She is curious to know everything about you.
She endeavors to discover what's important to you and what makes you tick, so she asks you a lot of questions about yourself, but not in an obnoxious, prying or pushy kind of way. (Of course you give her the absolute minimum amount of info. possible.)
She gives you small gifts.
She calls YOU and asks you out.
She makes a big deal about your birthday.
She cooks your favorite meal at least once a month.
She builds up your ego.
She's supportive
She's consistently loving and affectionate.
When you're sick she is your dedicated nurse.
She often turns into a playful little girl when she's around you.
She respects your opinion.
She asks you for advice.
She's consistent and dependable.
She keeps her word.
She's never late.
She's fiercely loyal.
She backs you up when the chips are down.
She doesn't put you down in public or nag.
She doesn't compare you to other guys.
She makes you feel like a better man than you know you are.
Her knees buckle when she kisses you.

She thinks it's great that you go out with your buddies once a week.
She doesn't try to control you as much as other women do.
When football is on she knows not to talk and ask dumb questions.
Every girl in town thinks you're ugly as sin, but she thinks you look like Brad Pitt.
She thinks that your beer belly is made of muscle.
When you say "Honey, tomorrow morning you and I are going to rob the local bank at nine o'clock." She says "I'll be ready?"

Ok men; let's be honest. How many of these traits does your main squeeze have?

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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