YOU EVER DATE A LIAR?
Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
My name is Tom and I have a problem with a girl that I have been seeing. My wife of 12
years had passed away ten months ago and I am now forcing myself to start dating again. I
met Dana through a mutual friend, so she was aware that I am a widower, and she already
knows about some of my past.
I went out with her a few times and we really hit it off. The problem is that after the
second date she tells me that she has been "seeing" someone for two years.
Before we even went on a date I specifically asked if she had a boyfriend and she said
She continued to tell me that she was unhappy with her boyfriend because he had previously
cheated on her for a year. After that they broke up, but he eventually talked her into
getting back together. She also said that he's always too busy for her and that she is
tired of always being last on his list.
I have heard that her parents hate this boyfriend and a lot of her friends have stopped
talking to her because of him. I told her that if her dating me was becoming a problem for
her that I was willing to just be friends. Her reply was that she was confused and didn't
know how long we could last as just friends. Besides that, she would always wonder what it
would be like to be a couple with me.
The last time I saw her she came over to my house after being stood up by the boyfriend
and was all over me, so I know that there is some type of attraction. But lately I feel
that I am being treated as second fiddle to the boyfriend.
It seems that she's calling the shots and will only see me when the boyfriend isn't
around, and it seems like I am the one who does all of the calling.
I do think that I screwed up on the first few times that I was with her, because I was
trying to sell myself to her that I was the better choice, so I told her that I really
liked her and I then sent her flowers. I know that those were mistakes from reading your
materials but I want to see if I can do something right now to become a Challenge to her.
I really like her and would like to win her over. I just bought your program but I need
some advice right away before I do something else stupid.
Tom - who is still learning
You can say that again, you are definitely still learning. Never tell a woman whom you're
attracted to that you're willing to just be friends. It's a pathetically weak and wimpy
thing to do.
But let's back up. This girl is easier to read than a stop sign. Right out of the chute
she gave you a giant red flag. You asked her if she had a boyfriend and she told you that
she didn't. Then when you saw her again she told you that she DID have a boyfriend! So,
Tom before you even had your first date with her she lied to you. She's a liar. That right
there is enough to disqualify her as a potential partner.
And here you are now, getting all emotionally psyched up about her. You'd never go into
business with a liar, why would you consider pursuing a romantic relationship with one?
Use some common sense dude!
And I'll tell you something else, Tom; she's not confused. You're the one who's confused.
She's got you completely bamboozled and you've signed up for all of it.
This gal Dana is obviously a phony and a stroker. She throws you a bone to get you hooked
and gives you a glimmer of hope so she can keep you around as her butler and therapist.
But the way things have played out so far, I'd say there'd be peace in the Middle East
before you'll ever be lovers with this chick.
Tom, she's not worth trying to win over. But if you'd like to use her to practice at being
strong with a woman instead of weak, I'll tell you what you can do. Just as an experiment,
become a Negative Challenge to her like her boyfriend is. Stand her up, put her down and
boss her around. That'll get her hooked on you, but you won't want to keep what you wind
Remember, guys, she cannot teach your kids to be honest if she doesn't know how.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The
"System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com
or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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