MEN'S MAGAZINES MISLEAD MEN?
Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
My name is Shane, and I subscribe to Esquire, Stuff and Maxim magazines. I enjoy a lot of
the articles and, of course, the pictures of the models. But since I've read the things
you say on askmen.com about how women will tell you all day long what they want in a man
but how they can't tell you what they actually respond to, I've begun to notice something
about these magazines.
Whenever they print an (ostensibly) helpful article on subjects such as; "How to
Seduce a Woman Properly" or "Pickup Lines That Really Work' or "Six Sure
Fire Ways to Make Her Want You," they almost always consult a female to find their
answers. After reading your articles I can see how terribly flawed that method is. As soon
as you ask a woman what you should do in order to get her to like you, you're already
whipped aren't you? Besides that, most of the time you're going to get bogus info and, as
you say Doc, you get a bunch of half - truths.
Here's a perfect example of what I'm talking about from the November issue of Maxim
SEDUCE YOUR HOT FRIEND
STEP 1: BREAK THE MOLD
"You have to change the tone of your encounters," says Trish McDermott, dating
columnist and vice-president of romance (seriously) at match.com No, that doesn't mean
introducing Two For Flinching. It means doing more things one-on-one. "Move from a PG
rating to more of an R," says McDermott. "Instead of bike riding together, fix
her dinner and share some wine." When she's good and tipsy, you can whip her ass in
that bike race.
STEP 2: DO YOUR RESEARCH
"He who has the most information wins," McDermott says. Luckily you're privy to
everything from her to her favorite food to her secret sexual fantasy, so do things she
likes. You should also increase intimacy with her. Complain that you can't find a girl
like her to date, and initiate physical contact. "Demonstrate a claim on her in
social situations," McDermott says. "Put your hand on her to show other guys
she's taken." Shoulder yes; ass no.
STEP 3: PUCKER UP
If it's going to happen, she should be giving signs by now- touching, flirting, and
presenting her red, mandrill-like buttocks. Time to make your move. "Get her in an
intimate situation and ask. What would you do if I kissed you?" McDermott suggests.
If she flings herself out the window, you can always blame the moment and still be
friends. "People don't usually regret the rejections," says McDermott,
"only the things they never tried." Unless it's your body rejecting a kidney
transplant, of course.
Doc, just about all of this is wrong, terribly wrong isn't it? Do you think that the
editors of these magazines will ever wise up AND REALLY HELP MEN?
Shane - who is really curious to know
I'm an odds maker. You show me a particular woman you're interested in and I tell you the
odds of that woman staying around - forever. But if you start out with a good woman with
high Interest Level and you follow the advice of female love doctors to romance her, your
odds of keeping her are about as good as they are for Osama Bin Laden converting to
Christianity. Your woman is going to start nagging and will eventually dump you. She won't
be able to help herself because you will have been using unmanly tactics to try to keep
Men think that when they ask a woman for advice about women, that they're getting the true
wisdom direct from the horse's mouth - not so. Asking a female love doctor to help you
understand women is like asking a homeless derelict for directions to the freeway onramp:
you're guaranteed to get lost.
When I interview women I cross-examine them like a Love Cop should do. I ask questions
such as; "Did any of your ex-boyfriends say, "I love you," too often?"
"Did your ex-husband ever stand up to you when you were wrong?"
Female love doctors give advice from a female perspective. I don't mind that, but they do
it under the guise of being objective, which they're not. They often start off in the
right direction, but inevitably they take the wrong fork in the road. So, the man gets
some good advice, then some bad advice, but believes that it's all good advice. This is
how he gets thwarted in his efforts to find true love. But, when he uses "The
System," he learns to tell the difference between the half-truths and the truth, and
he puts himself ahead of the game instead of behind the eight ball.
Now let's take apart Trish Mcdermott's advice from Maxim magazine. She starts by
recommending that you "move from a PG rating to more of an R" with the gal you
intend to turn into a lover. "Fix her dinner and share some wine." Ok, fine.
It's always good to create an intimate setting and to get her feeling comfortable if
you're hoping to change the context of your relationship.
Her advice to do things with your "friend" that you know she likes is also good.
But, in the next sentence she totally blows it: "Complain that you can't find a girl
like her to date, and initiate friendly physical contact" Gentlemen, allow me to
comment on this advice: No! Wrong! Mistake! Guys with confidence don't complain. Only a
loser would complain to his romantic interest that he couldn't find a good woman. Plus,
it's the woman who must first initiate physical contact if it's going to lead anywhere.
Trish also suggests that you: "Put your hand on her to show other guys she's
taken." Think about this. Wouldn't you say that having the woman initiate touching
first is a much better way of demonstrating to the competition that she's yours? A guy
grabbing a girl signals insecurity.
In Step 3 she recommends going for the kiss by saying: "What would you do if I kissed
you?" This suggestion stinks to high heaven. Never ever ask a woman for permission to
kiss her. Talk about a weak and wimpy maneuver! If she's on the fence about smooching with
you, asking if it's OK is guaranteed to set you up for a delightful response such as:
"Oh, gosh, Billy, what are you doing? You know that we're just friends. You don't
want to spoil that, do you?"
The truth is that if you've been spending a lot time with a girl in whom you're
romantically interested and she hasn't been touching you, odds are you ain't never gettin'
no lovin' Charlie. If she HAS been touching you, then there's hope. In either case, the
way to know if she's romantically interested in you or not is to kiss her while the two of
you are together in an appropriate setting, and, to do it without asking for her
permission. Being a cool and confident Challenge is the only way to go.
Will the editors of these magazines ever wise up? Don't bet on it Shane.
Remember, guys, never ask a woman for advice about women.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The
"System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com
or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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