FINDING
MS. RIGHT ON THE INTERNET
Women
Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
Hi Doc!
I'm 28 years old and without bragging or exaggerating, I can tell you that I am very
pretty and I get hit on several times a week. But just for fun I decided that I would be
adventurous and see what type of guy I might meet if I tried Internet dating. Let me tell
you about my experience on matchmaker.com. In the first week of my membership I received
700+ letters. It would be just about impossible to respond to all of them, even if I
wanted to.
I am trying hard to be honest with those guys that I do not have a high Interest Level in,
but they do not always make it easy! Some guys get really upset when I don't respond. One
guy wouldn't stop sending letters to me, so I blocked his mail and he opened a new account
to bypass it!
Out of all the guys who have sent me mail I have gone on about four dates, and out of
those, one seems promising. The guys that I have responded to have a certain kind of look
that I'm into. (I only respond to profiles that include a photo.) They also demonstrate
qualities of class and confidence in what they write about themselves.
But the things that a lot of these guys do are unbelievable. I got an interesting reply
today, a small novel that was way too intimate. I just can't fathom how these guys think
they will succeed when their methods are so wacko!
Maybe you can give men some guidance specifically on Internet dating and help them to stop
doing things that turn women off.
Reva - who wants to help you educate guys
Hi Reva,
Before we get to help the guys, I must first bust you on your Womanese. A woman who looks
like you could walk into a Muslim mosque and get more propositions in ten minutes than the
average guy gets in his entire lifetime. If you received 700+ responses in one week,
you're not "pretty," you're BEAUTIFUL.
Also, when you say that you decided to try Internet dating just for fun, I don't think you
were being totally honest. What you really meant (I'm the first man in 6000 years to be
able to decipher the secret vernacular of females) was that since you haven't met the kind
of guy whom you'd like to connect with at work, clubs, parties or the gym, you were hoping
that the Internet might be a more efficient resource for finding Mr. Right. So you didn't
do it just for fun did you?
But thank you for sharing your story with us. You have given us an interesting insight
into the foxy female's Internet experience and we can definitely learn from it.
First of all, guys, realize that any beautiful woman who has posted a picture on an
Internet dating site is indeed going to be deluged with responses. A total of 700+ e-mails
in a gorgeous babe's in-box during her first week of membership are not an uncommon
occurrence. Since she can't possibly read all the bios, what does she do? She screens by
checking the photos. She goes by physical appearance. (This is one way in which guys and
gals are alike.)
Knowing that she first screens by appearance highlights the necessity for having a photo
that shows you at your best. So, I highly recommend that you spend the time and money on a
professional photo session. It's worth it if you're serious about Internet dating.
When you embark on the Internet dating adventure, guys, you need to have a realistic
awareness of the odds that you face. Even on the dating sites with the highest ratio of
women to men, we're still talkin only about 45% kitty cats to 55% dogs. And any woman who
is reasonably attractive will receive hundreds of responses. Whereas, the average guy will
receive about one or two unsolicited responses from women every so often, unless, of
course, he looks like George Clooney.
Now let me emphasize that when you initiate contact with a female member of an Internet
dating service, you cannot be emotionally attached to whether or not you hear back from
her. Say for instance, that you find a woman's profile with a headline that says:
"CALL ME CRAZY, BUT I'M LOOKING FOR A MAN WHO IS 6'6''+, SPEAKS PORTUGUESE AND LOVES
TO SURF ALASKA. LOOKS AREN'T IMPORTANT!" You are taller than Shaquille O'Neil is; you
have a Masters degree in Portuguese and every summer you shoot the curl on the coast of
the 49th state.
You politely inform this gal that, amazingly, you fit her criteria perfectly. But, to your
astonishment you never hear back from her. In such a case, do not send more e-mail saying:
"Hey, why didn't you write me back?" Instead, simply remember this principle:
Women will tell you what they want, but 99.999% of them are incapable of telling you what
they will actually respond to. And besides, begging never raises Interest Level.
It's definitely a numbers game on the net. So don't waste her time or yours by sending a
long letter when you first correspond. Certainly don't send her a small novel (which she
experiences as pressure). And absolutely do not send her a small EROTIC novel. Mentioning
sex in any way is guaranteed to get you instantly rejected, unless she's a biker broad.
Instead, just pop off a quick note that says something like: "Hi Caprice, I enjoyed
reading your profile, and I liked your picture. Check out mine and write me back if you
think there's potential." Always apply the principles of "The System"
whenever you are pitching a woman on the Net. Keep it short and sweet.
Since you'll get somewhere between 1-2 responses for every 10 that you send out, and half
of those will be rejections, send out messages to several gals. If you keep trolling and
you're persistent, you'll wind up with some quality leads.
Remember, guys, dating on the Net is a numbers game.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The
"System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com
or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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