SHE'S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE, WHY IS SHE SO AVAILABLE?
Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I have a two-part question for you:
1) I recently developed a mad crush on a woman and to find out what my chances are, I sent
her flowers at work. She genuinely seemed to appreciate the gesture, but she told me she
had "just started" seeing someone else -- though she said she'd be willing to go
out for coffee with me. Is she just being nice, or could she be leaving a door open? Might
she even be lying about "seeing someone else" to distance herself a little while
she decides whether she's interested in me or not?
2) I am a fairly good poet, and this woman has inspired me to write what I think is my
best, most romantic love poem ever. On the one hand I'd like to share it with her, in the
hopes it may melt her heart (it's that good); on the other hand I'm afraid it may creep
her out by making her think I'm desperate and obsessed. Any thoughts?
Max - who wants to know if he is on the right track
Instead of flowers you should have sent her an engagement ring. Why waste time, Max,
everyone knows that women hate Challenge. To you Psyche majors, I'm being facetious.
I look at Elle Magazine, and I have crushes on all of the models with blonde hair and bee
stung lips. But guess what? Women do the choosing. And, Max, the guy that a hot blonde
chooses isn't the guy who comes on heavy with flowers and love poems. And she certainly
doesn't choose the guy who comes on heavy with flowers and love poems before he's even had
a first date with her (unless he's a rock star.)
Yes, of course, she appreciated your floral gesture, Max. All women, even Feministas like
flowers. But the question of life is: does she like YOU. If flowers created true Interest
Level, guys would be handing out bunches of them in front of modeling agencies all day
A stronger approach would have been to just ask this gal for her home number rather than
sending her roses. When you ask a woman for her home phone number you reveal that you have
interest in her. But by only asking for her phone number without coming on heavy with
compliments or gifts, you maintain a sense of Challenge and mystery. Since you're the man,
Max, it's your job to be the initiator. You have to come on first. But The System says,
"You do it in a very minimal way." Get it?
Yes, Max, the odds are that she WAS just being nice when she said she was
"willing" to have coffee with you. Might she even be lying about "seeing
someone else" to distance herself a little while she decides whether she's interested
in you? Girls with high Interest Level don't deceive you, and they don't need time to
Ok, so her Interest Level in you doesn't seem to be very high at this point. But I'm going
to give you some tactics that will raise her Interest Level in you IF it can be raised.
Remember, if her Interest Level in you is below 50%, it won't matter what we try. But if
it's above 50% we have a shot. So here are some cool moves you can make.
Ask her out for coffee, but wait 2 weeks before you do, because by this time, odds are,
the other guy will be lowering her Interest Level. This move will also throw her off
because she will have been expecting you to jump on her offer like an eager beaver. We
have to be unpredictable and gain some ground because of the flowers fiasco.
Now the rule is that you never talk of other women, but in this case, because we have to
bump off the competition, we're going to make an exception. When she asks you about your
love life, tell her that women stalk you after a few dates. When she asks you why, say:
"I don't know, it's like a blessing and a curse," and then wink at her like the
cat that just ate the canary.
And finally, Max, if you haven't gotten the message about sappy poetry yet, allow me to
reiterate: do not give her any love poems unless you want her to think of you as a little
puppy dog looking for a home. As my cousin, Fast Eddy Love, would say, "if her heart
needs melting, begging ain't gonna to do it. But when you use Challenge instead, then
you've got some heat workin for you."
Remember, guys, always do what is right.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The
"System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com
or call (800) 404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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