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Doc Love Success Coach

New Article Every Thursday



 Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hi Doc,

I have a two-part question for you:

1) I recently developed a mad crush on a woman and to find out what my chances are, I sent her flowers at work. She genuinely seemed to appreciate the gesture, but she told me she had "just started" seeing someone else -- though she said she'd be willing to go out for coffee with me. Is she just being nice, or could she be leaving a door open? Might she even be lying about "seeing someone else" to distance herself a little while she decides whether she's interested in me or not?

2) I am a fairly good poet, and this woman has inspired me to write what I think is my best, most romantic love poem ever. On the one hand I'd like to share it with her, in the hopes it may melt her heart (it's that good); on the other hand I'm afraid it may creep her out by making her think I'm desperate and obsessed. Any thoughts?

Max - who wants to know if he is on the right track

Hi Max,

Instead of flowers you should have sent her an engagement ring. Why waste time, Max, everyone knows that women hate Challenge. To you Psyche majors, I'm being facetious.

I look at Elle Magazine, and I have crushes on all of the models with blonde hair and bee stung lips. But guess what? Women do the choosing. And, Max, the guy that a hot blonde chooses isn't the guy who comes on heavy with flowers and love poems. And she certainly doesn't choose the guy who comes on heavy with flowers and love poems before he's even had a first date with her (unless he's a rock star.)

Yes, of course, she appreciated your floral gesture, Max. All women, even Feministas like flowers. But the question of life is: does she like YOU. If flowers created true Interest Level, guys would be handing out bunches of them in front of modeling agencies all day long.
A stronger approach would have been to just ask this gal for her home number rather than sending her roses. When you ask a woman for her home phone number you reveal that you have interest in her. But by only asking for her phone number without coming on heavy with compliments or gifts, you maintain a sense of Challenge and mystery. Since you're the man, Max, it's your job to be the initiator. You have to come on first. But The System says, "You do it in a very minimal way." Get it?

Yes, Max, the odds are that she WAS just being nice when she said she was "willing" to have coffee with you. Might she even be lying about "seeing someone else" to distance herself a little while she decides whether she's interested in you? Girls with high Interest Level don't deceive you, and they don't need time to decide.

Ok, so her Interest Level in you doesn't seem to be very high at this point. But I'm going to give you some tactics that will raise her Interest Level in you IF it can be raised. Remember, if her Interest Level in you is below 50%, it won't matter what we try. But if it's above 50% we have a shot. So here are some cool moves you can make.

Ask her out for coffee, but wait 2 weeks before you do, because by this time, odds are, the other guy will be lowering her Interest Level. This move will also throw her off because she will have been expecting you to jump on her offer like an eager beaver. We have to be unpredictable and gain some ground because of the flowers fiasco.

Now the rule is that you never talk of other women, but in this case, because we have to bump off the competition, we're going to make an exception. When she asks you about your love life, tell her that women stalk you after a few dates. When she asks you why, say: "I don't know, it's like a blessing and a curse," and then wink at her like the cat that just ate the canary.

And finally, Max, if you haven't gotten the message about sappy poetry yet, allow me to reiterate: do not give her any love poems unless you want her to think of you as a little puppy dog looking for a home. As my cousin, Fast Eddy Love, would say, "if her heart needs melting, begging ain't gonna to do it. But when you use Challenge instead, then you've got some heat workin for you."

Remember, guys, always do what is right.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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