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Doc Love Success Coach

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Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hi Doc,

I'm another guy who loves beautiful women and wants to understand them. I've been with one absolutely gorgeous woman in my life. That was three years ago and the relationship only lasted about two months. I'm not certain why she initially chose me, but she dumped me for this mangy criminal type guy who can barely stay out of jail. She's still with him. He never works, she supports him, and she's madly in love with him.

Since that happened to me I've become acutely aware that so many of these gorgeous women are with losers, or just scummy looking guys. One thing I'd like to know is: why the losers? I'm not a guy who gives in and am by no means a wimp. I consider myself a positive Challenge, but I have come to the conclusion that these unapproachable model type women are only attracted to a limited group of men.

It's either guys with power, fame and barrels of cash or band members or creepy losers with too many tattoos, but not an average guy with good looks and a lot to offer. What do you think?

Terrence - who wants to know what's going on

Hi Terrence,

You're quite accurate in your description of the types of guys that the drop dead gorgeous babes prefer. But you're leaving out another kind of guy they go for. If, instead of being an average guy with good looks and a lot to offer, you were an average guy with spectacular looks and even nothing to offer, you'd be getting some serious attention from those "unapproachable" goddesses. Even from some of the married ones.

Now as we all know, the real beauties do go for the rich and powerful celebrities. Drop dead gorgeous women are essentially celebrities themselves, simply by virtue of their great beauty. They're genetic celebrities. And since women always date and marry "up" these extreme beauties go for the 'gold.' The Reality Factor says: beauty always finds the money and money always finds the beauty.

But besides these obvious reasons, it's difficult to know for certain why any woman really chooses the man that she chooses. Observed from an objective viewpoint, women's mate choices are often irrational, illogical, contradictory, and rather arbitrary. To you Psych majors, women are inconsistent.

So, Terrence, there's more than one possible explanation for why these beauties go for the borderline (or even full on) criminal type, the crazed musician with more piercings than a pin cushion or the creepy loser who can't keep a job. And every stunningly gorgeous babe will choose differently based upon her level of self-esteem, her emotional maturity and her upbringing.

Still, there is one thing that the types of males that I've described above have in common. They're all rebels in some way. They're not socially acceptable. If a beautiful woman has a lot of anger toward her father, and many of them do, she can symbolically give 'the finger' to Daddy by choosing, for instance, a drug dealer with a bone through his nose for her boyfriend.

Also, as strange as it sounds, dangerous men make many women feel safe. All women crave safety and security and a guy who's done 'hard time' makes some women feel safe and protected. She knows that he'll crush any other guy who hassles her, and beautiful women do get harassed a lot.

The other thing that all these types of guys tend to have in common is a kind of detached, don't give a crap, attitude. So these 10's perceive them as extra manly, confident and a Challenge.

Keep in mind, Terrence, that just because she's beautiful on the outside, it doesn't mean she's clinically sane on the inside. Just because she has a fantastic body on the outside, it doesn't mean she has common sense on the inside. Just because she has gorgeous breasts and long legs on the outside, it doesn't mean she's marriage material.

Remember, guys, beauty is only skin deep but character is to the bone.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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