WOMEN DON'T WANT MEN WHO ARE AVAILABLE
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
(Doc Love will appear - if he doesn't get bumped again - on the O'Reilly Factor on
March 12 on FoxNews. Pease check TV times in your local listings. )
Dear Doc Love,
I've probably read about ten of your articles, so I know some things about your
"System", but I also know that I have a lot to learn. I'm very confused about
something that keeps happening to me with women and I'm hoping that you just might be the
guy to solve this mystery for me once and for all.
I am pretty good at meeting women. The place that I do best is at bookstores that have a
coffee house attached, places like Borders or Barnes and Noble. I'll notice a girl reading
a book at a table and then I'll ask her something about the book. Then I might tell her
about the really interesting book that I'm reading and then it just kind of flows from
there.
If I'm really conscientious I can get maybe ten or twelve phone numbers in a week and out
of those I'll get two or three actual dates which I figure is a pretty good batting
average. (I hear stories from some guys who get phone numbers but almost no actual dates.)
I usually take a girl out to dinner and then for a walk down "The Third Street
Promenade" in Santa Monica where there's all kinds of shops, crafts, live music and
it's great for people watching too. I think this is all good and the girls seem to like
the atmosphere.
Once we're together at the restaurant I try to be as gentlemanly as possible. I never
swear or use foul language. I keep the conversation on a positive track. I always ask her
a lot of questions about herself and I never talk about other women or flirt with the
waitress.
After about an hour or so I always ask her if she's having a good time and if there's
anything I can do to make things more enjoyable for her. I also always check with her at
the end of the date to see how she thinks things went and if she felt comfortable with me.
Also, I usually call the girl the next day and tell her what a great time I had and how
much I enjoyed her company. And then, I ask her if she'd like to go out on a second date.
That's where it all goes down the tubes because they always come up with some excuse for
why they can't go out with me again. I have to tell you that I simply cannot understand
why this keeps happening to me!
I know I've blabbed on a bit. Thanks for reading all of this. Any ideas would be greatly
appreciated. Thanks Doc Love.
P.S. Could it have anything to do with the place that I'm meeting these girls. Is it just
that there's a very high percentage of flakey girls who hang out in bookstores?
Mason - who can't get a second date
Hi Mason,
I can definitely help you. The reasons why you aren't getting a second date are blatantly
obvious to anyone who has been studying "The System". It's really no mystery. So
you can relax Mason because by the end of this article your journey to greater success
with women will have already started. We're going to get you out of your "Sophomore
Slump" as they say in Baseball. (That's when a rookie who did pretty good the first
year just ain't cuttin' it the second year.)
But before I reveal to you what you've been doing wrong, I want to commend you on what
you've been doing right. Any guy who has the confidence and charm to be able to strike up
conversations with numerous girls who are total strangers and wind up with twelve
different phone numbers in a week is one hell of a 'closer'! It takes real determination
and a whole lot of testosterone to make THAT happen. Most guys don't get that many phone
numbers in a year!
Yet, it's interesting, Mason, that you're so confident, aggressive and unapologetic when
it comes to asking for phone numbers and then so overly eager to please when you're out on
the date. Your over-eagerness and your intense need for approval are the things that are
turning these chicks off.
Women want a gentleman but they want a gentleman who is a Challenge, and the style you're
using right now, Mason, is anti-Challenge. The babes are sensing that you're desperately
hoping that they'll like you and whatever Interest Level they may have started with simply
evaporates by the end of a first date with you (or sooner.)
You have to stop trying so hard to please them. You're too accommodating and you're being
like that because you're AFRAID that if you don't cater to their every whim then they
won't like you. Instead, you need to take that same fearlessness that you have when you
first introduce yourself to these women and carry it over into all your interactions with
them. You have to start not caring so much whether you are pleasing them or not. You have
do stop being so damn available.
During the first sixty days of courtship, women don't want to think that you're available.
They want to think that you're unavailable. That's what keeps them curious and interested.
It sounds strange but it's true. You need to learn how to keep them on their toes. Keep
them off balance. Keep them wondering whether they are going to be able to win you over or
not.
It's good to keep the conversation on a positive track. It's good to not mention other
women. And of course, yes, never flirt with the waitress when you're on a dinner date with
a girl. But, beyond that Mason, I recommend that you immediately cease and desist with all
the checking in with your date to see if she's comfortable or if she's having a good time
or how she thinks the date is 'going'. These behaviors are sinking you Love Boat before it
ever gets out of the dock.
And as painful as it may be to hear, Mason, I've got to give you the rest of your dose of
Truth Medicine. Any woman who has a shred of Interest Level left at the end of a first
date with you loses it when you, Mr. Eager Beaver, Mr. Lonely Guy, call her THE NEXT DAY
looking for more approval. That's way, way too soon to be calling for a second date. You
might as well just say. "I know I'm a loser, but please please have pity on me and
like me just a little, please?"
So now you're mystery has been solved Mason. It's not that every Borders and Barnes and
Noble is filled with flakey chicks. Your problem is that you are not being a Challenge, at
all!
So start studying "The System" seriously, keep getting those phone numbers and
start being a Challenge.
Remember, guys, you need to make women work to win you over
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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