DOC, WAS SHE HITTING ON ME OR JUST TEASING?
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
Dear Doc,
I live in the town of Lahaina on the island of Maui in Hawaii. I work at one of the luxury
hotels nearby doing therapeutic massage, mostly for visiting tourists. Most of us locals
make our living in the tourist industry, doing one thing or another.
Ok, so there's this really cute blonde girl, another local, named "Moonstar"
(I'm not kidding) who is the town flower girl. By that I mean she goes around to all the
restaurants with a basket of flowers and roses and tries to get guys to buy some for their
girlfriend or date or wife, whatever.
She's really quite stunning looking. She's about 24, 5'9'' or so, with gorgeous thick
blonde hair that's almost as long as her extra long legs. She also has a rather large
tattoo of a unicorn on her back. I've been seeing this girl around town night after night
for about four months now. Always with her basket of flowers, always trying to lure
another guy into coughin' up the cash for some babe's floral fetish.
She's always seemed to me to be real street smart, kind of like a cocktail waitress. I've
seen all kinds of guys hit on her, but I've never seen anyone get anywhere with her. She
seems like the type who's heard every line in the book, and I figure she probably has some
criminal-biker boyfriend stashed away somewhere.
All right, so a few nights ago I was standing out in front of this music club with two
other buddies of mine, and there she was again with her basket of flowers. Well, she walks
right up to me, and while ignoring my other two friends she says, "I want to give you
something from my heart to yours." Then she hands me this exotic looking flower and
smiles and then walks away.
I was pretty shocked. In fact I was so surprised that I just stood there kind of frozen
and didn't do or say anything. Then one of my friends who has been reading your stuff says
to me, "Hey, she's got high Interest Level. You should go ask her for her phone
number." I told him that I thought that she was probably just flirting. Then he says
"Dude, those were heavy buying signals, you should have closed her!" Then he
throws some more of your lingo at me and says, "Well maybe it's better that you
didn't close her right then and there. It makes you look like more of a Challenge."
Right after that my friend had to get going to the airport for a flight to Japan for a
month-long trip. But he gave me your e-mail address and told me you could explain all
this.
He really made me curious. I have a hunch that he's onto something with your info. So I
would like to understand what all those things mean, and I'd also like to know what you
think I should have done and what I should do now. I'd be one happy guy if I really had a
chance with this girl.
Ulrich - who wants to learn
Hi Ulrich,
Although Moonstar is a gorgeous Goddess who has more guys after her than Osama Bin Laden,
SOMEONE is going to capture her heart and it could just be that she's nominated you as a
candidate. Yes, but how, indeed, do we determine if she was merely toying with you, like a
cat with a mouse, or, seriously trying to seduce you?
When you start using my "System" for success with women, you no longer have to
suffer with lingering doubt and confusion about where you stand with a girl. I give you
practical tools to weed out the sweethearts from the phonies and strokers. So, Ulrich, the
number one weapon I can give you today to put in your in your arsenal for easily and
quickly discovering what's what in a situation like this, is the ABC strategy: Always Be
Closing.
To "Close" is to go for it. To take the risk to ask for what you want, either
verbally or non-verbally, depending on the situation. What you wanted in THIS situation,
Ulrich, (you just didn't know it) was Moonstar's home phone number. But when she
approached you and sprinkled her flower fairy dust on you, you became entranced and as
mute as an Enron executive at a Congressional hearing who's been asked. "Where did
all the money go?"
If, rather than clamming up, you had closed her for her home phone number she would have
then done one of two things. She would have either given it to you or she wouldn't have
given it to you and instead would have come up with some kind of excuse or diversion. If
you had asked her for her number and she HAD given it to you, you would then have known
that she was at least POTENTIALLY serious about connecting with you.
If she had FAILED to give you her number, for WHATEVER REASON, you would have then known
that she was just getting off on giving you false hope when, for one brief shining moment,
she focused all her attention and feminine charms on you and you alone.
So, Ulrich, as your friend said, "You should have closed her." But you didn't
close her and now you're livin' in Limbo. Most guys, who fail to close a girl when the
window of opportunity momentarily opens, wind up kicking themselves and wallowing in
regret for weeks because without a phone number, they'll never see the girl or even talk
to her again.
Have you ever seen an ad that's been placed in the personals section of your local paper
by some pitiful bastard who met a girl someplace, like on a bus, but didn't have the guts
to ask her for her number at the time? "DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR YOU! We met on the
4:15 bus to Studio City last Tuesday. We talked about white water rafting and our mutual
dislike of Rosie O'Donnell. You're the tall, thin girl with long black hair and a
beautiful smile. Please, please leave me your number at box #1234."
Fortunately for you, Ulrich, there's a very high probability that you WILL see THIS gal
again. And, technically, your friend is right, she may have experienced you as more of a
Challenge (more mysterious) when you didn't react at all. But, guys, not closing right
away in a situation like this, ONLY work to your advantage when it's GUARANTEED that you
will soon see your potential love interest again.
So, Ulrich, the next time you see Moonstar, make sure that before you part company with
her, that you say the five magic words: "What's your home phone number?"
Remember, guys, the first three letters of the alphabet are ABC.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
404-2644.
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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