Beautiful Russian Women Agency

Beautiful Russian, Ukrainian, Byelorussian, Estonian, Latvian, Moldavian, and Lithuanian women looking for love and marriage. Browse our catalog now!

  | Home | Photo Album | Services | Order Form | Registration Form |

| Success stories | Men Catalog  | Contact UsMembers | Special Offer |

| For Webmasters  |  Disclaimer |  Join our mailing list |  Is this for real?  |

Exclusive Search   |  Free addresses  | Business Opportunity  | FAQ  |

NEWSearch Engine  | Tours  |  Doc Love Success Coach  |  Swinggcat column  

Beautiful Russian Women Agency presents most beautiful russian women seeking love and romance. We introduce russian women from Russia, Ukraine, Byelorussia, Estonia, Latvia, Eastern Europe, and other former USSR countries

Doc Love Success Coach

New Article Every Thursday

 

THE OLD BOYFRIEND IN THE BACKGROUND SYNDROME

Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hey Doc,

I'm 24. I met a young lady running (she's 21). We somehow finished our run at the same time, and a conversation sprang up. I asked her if she'd like to maybe run together again sometime. She said, "Yes, let me give you my number." (Right away I'm thinking high Interest Level).

We talked on the phone the next night (probably too soon, but I maintained a confident attitude) and in that phone call she said, "For some reason I'm so attracted to your personality".

We met to run together that weekend. It was one of the best dates I've ever had. We ran in the rain, then we both ate apples (that I brought) under a picnic area. At this point everything was just totally flowing. So we walked back to our cars, we kind of stood there (still raining), I said "Do you want to sit in my car and listen to some music?" She said, "Yeah, I was hoping you would ask." We sat there and talked and looked at each other very lovingly and kissed for a long time. Also, she told me how she felt as if she was 10 years old again.

We went out the next night. Everything continued to be cool until she told me that she had just recently broken it off with some guy. She basically told me if we are going to get into anything that I need to approach it very slowly because she's emotionally fragile right now. This new twist was something that I wasn't sure how to handle.

We made a date to run again on Thursday. I called her that morning at 11:00 and woke her up. She said that she needed to cancel our running date because her girlfriend was in the hospital and she wanted to bring her dinner. She also said that she only had had a few hours of sleep the night before.

I told her, "When we make a date, if you are going to break it, please give me a call before hand." I also told her that she could have run with me and also have taken her girlfriend dinner. She responded to that with, "Is that the only reason you called, to give me a hard time?"

I left a message the next day but no return message. I went to her house two days later hoping that she had been gone all weekend and never got the message, but it turns out that she had been there the whole time. She told me that she didn't call me back because when I corrected her about breaking the date, she felt really bad and with what she's going through she can't afford to get into an emotional situation right now.

So, Doc, that was that. I walked away from her door two weeks ago and have not made contact since. No calls, no emails. I would like to be the best man I can be in this situation. I don't need her to love me. If the best thing for me to do would be to be her friend until she feels stable, then so be it. But I would like to see her again in some capacity. And I don't want it to be some big drama on my part. It was so light and great at first. Where do I go from here?

Collins - who wants to bridge the gap

Hi Collins,

You want to bridge the gap? Bridge the Grand Canyon is more like it! I'll bet if I went over to my bookshelf and pulled out my big fat Webster's dictionary and I looked up the definition for "nave," I'd find your photo there, Collins. This girl's been jerkin' your chain, dude, and unfortunately you're totally clueless.

What's even sadder is that I get several e-mails similar to yours every day! There are tens of thousands of good guys out there with good jobs and good intentions who sincerely want to have a good woman in their lives. But they just don't get there because they don't have the awareness and skills that they need to win the dating game. They're nave just like you, Collins.

Obviously, you've begun to study my "System" because you have SOME awareness of the concept of Interest Level. But you've got a whole heck of a lot more studying to do. You've made so many blunders with this chick that there are almost too many to list. Nevertheless, I'm going to quickly review the biggies.

Your approach with this gal was weak from the get go. Never say something like, "Would you like to MAYBE run together again sometime?" Instead you should have merely said: "What's your home phone number?" When she volunteered her phone number you should have asked her "When's the best time to call you?" Then you could have called her at a completely different time, which would have made you more of a Challenge.

You knew that it was a mistake to call her the next night, but you rationalized your decision with the idea that you were maintaining a "confident attitude." Like most men in that kind of situation you allowed your own impatience and neediness to dictate your actions. You were chompin' at the bit. You were jonesin' like a junkie for instant gratification. You were saying to yourself, "Her Interest Level is so high that I can get away with this." But the Reality Factor says that you didn't.

And it's one thing to make a blunder like that out of ignorance. But since you had already begun to study "The System", you knew it was wrong to call so soon but you did it anyway! Why bother to learn success strategies if you're going to trash them at the times you need them most?

In spite of your self-sabotaging behavior, Collins, you DID wind up making out with her in the car, and that was the last time you ever will. Remember that you can have a deliriously delightful smooch fest with a girl and it can easily turn out that it meant nothing to her. Why? Because you haven't gotten past sixty days. To you Psych majors, you gotta get your time in.

When she told you that she had just "broken it off" with some guy and that she was emotionally fragile, that was Womanese for: "He dumped me and I'm still strung out on him." I call it "The Boyfriend in the Background Syndrome." A woman with the Boyfriend in the Background Syndrome will do things like have a heavy make-out session with a guy, just for entertainment to momentarily distract her from her painful longing for Mr. Jerk.

When she broke the date at the last minute, she was rude and disrespectful. Her story was a bunch of malarkey. When you busted her on her B.S., she threw another insult at you. And you want to be friends with this girl! I'd take a personal check from Don King first.

You totally lost it when you went over to her house to see why she hadn't returned your call. Remember, Collins, stalking is illegal plus, it's anti-Challenge. The ONE thing you did right, Collins, was to walk away and stop all contact with her when you started to get it that it had become a no-win situation for you.

If you had been a super Challenge from the start, you might have gotten a whole lot more respect and authentic interest from this girl. Yes, the power of Challenge can even overcome The Boyfriend in the Background Syndrome.

But it's too late now, guy. If you want to wind up being her butler and therapist, then go ahead and follow through with your idea to be "friends" with her. But I say you'd be better off using the time you'd waste doing that to seriously study what it means to be a Challenge.

Remember, guys, in the Jungle of Love, there's nothing more dangerous than your own high Interest Level.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"


Copyright DocLove DotCom, Inc.

 

Copyright 1998 - 2011 by Beautiful Russian Women Agency. All Rights Reserved