YOU HAVE TO JUST GO FOR IT!
Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love
I have this friend, I'll call her Karen. She not a total knockout, but she's definitely
pretty. She's also a great dresser and she has a very "classy" air about her.
Even though I'm not dating anyone right now, I'm not romantically interested in her any
way. She's just not my type physically. But we really do get along well. She's like my one
good female friend right now. We both love to play pool and we go out to this trendy pool
hall in Hollywood together usually, on Tuesday nights. There's really quite a scene going
on there, even on Tuesday nights, and the place is just teaming with babes every time we
There's a situation that keeps coming up when we're out together that I'm not sure how to
handle. It happened again just last night when we were at the pool hall. Karen had gone to
the bar to get us a couple of beers. During the five minutes that she was gone, this
exotic looking girl who had been playing pool with her girlfriend at the table next to us,
walked right over to me and asked me for advice on how to properly hold the cue stick. She
said her name was "Randa."
Now I know from reading your articles that that was a sign of her having some Interest
Level in me. She didn't have to come over and ask for my advice. It was pretty obvious
that it was an excuse that she had created to make contact with me. We joked around for a
couple minutes, and I made her laugh. But she had already seen me with Karen. (Karen
touches me a lot so in this girl's mind, Karen and I were probably boyfriend and
girlfriend, or at least out on a date.)
Then Karen came back with the beers. I wanted to ask Randa for her home phone number but I
didn't because, first of all, I didn't feel comfortable doing that right in front of
Karen. Even though we're just friends, I felt like it wouldn't be a classy thing to do.
And secondly, I was afraid that I would look like a sneaky cheat or a jerk in Randa's eyes
if I asked her for her phone number while I was with a girl who she most likely thought
was my date.
Still, I'm not sure whether Randa would have cared about that or not. She did come on to
me even though she had already seen me with Karen. Or maybe she came on to me BECAUSE she
saw me with Karen. Anyway you see my problem here? And this situation has come up more
So, Doc, what does your "System" say about dealing with this kind of situation?
Frankie - who wants to do the right thing
Is this the way you live your whole life, always sacrificing your needs for the approval
of others? Do you usually play it so safe? While you're busy doing only what you think you
should do and not doing what you think you shouldn't, your love life is going nowhere
fast. There you are, out with your female FRIEND who you have no romantic interest in, and
you're afraid of offending her by making a play for another woman? Look, dude, if she's
your friend, then she's your friend. That means she has the same status as a GUY who is
your friend. As my cousin "Fast Eddie" Love would say, "Friends support and
encourage each other when it comes to makin' out."
If you had asked Randa for her phone number right then and there, and Karen wound up being
bothered by that, it would have meant one of two things. Either she's not really your
friend, or she likes you romantically and you're oblivious to it. But, I'd bet that if you
had made your move with Randa, that Karen would have been just as pleased as punch for
you. You were afraid to risk Karen's disapproval when there was no risk. (And the
Feministas say that all men are a bunch of inconsiderate louts!)
As far as Randa goes, she knew nothing about the nature of your relationship with Karen.
No one said anything to her about Karen being your girlfriend. For all she knew, Karen
could have been your big sister. Anyway, Randa was obviously giving you plenty of
buying-signals. She didn't seem to be so concerned about what Karen might think, so why
should you have? I'm sure Randa wondered why the hell you didn't ask her for her number.
"Maybe he's gay," she probably said to her girlfriend as they drove home
Frankie, you're lucky to have a hot looking woman like Karen who likes to pal around with
you. I'd suggest that you take her out with you every chance you get and use her to help
you meet women. You can help her meet guys, too. It's called 'The Buddy System'.
Karen obviously has a lot of 'strike power' and that only makes you look more alluring to
the other kitty cats when they see you with her, as you've already experienced. You can
tell women you meet that she's your sister as you flash them a 'cat who ate the canary'
grin. As my cousin, Sal, "The Fish," Love would say, "Always keep 'em
Remember, guys, if you have a beautiful female buddy, be sure to take her with you when
you go out hunting.
To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me
at http://www.doclove.com or call (800)
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars.
For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with
one man versus another?"
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