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Doc Love Success Coach

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Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen
Success Coach - Doc Love

Hi Doc,

I need your advice. Two weeks ago I met this girl "Dusty" while we were both waiting in a long line at the bank. She was chewing gum so I said to her, "You chew gum really well!" She cracked up at that. The conversation flowed easily from that point. I kept it light and positive as you suggest and got her phone number just before the teller looked at me and said. "Next in line."

This all happened in less than ten minutes. Pretty good, huh? Since I've been seriously studying and practicing "The System" over the last three months, I've gotten really comfortable and confident with your 'closing' process.

When I asked Dusty for her phone number, she eagerly wrote it down for me before I could even get my pen out of my pocket; and she also said, "I'll be out of town for a few days, but I'll be back home on Sunday by 7:00 or so." (Sounds like really high Interest Level so far, wouldn't you say, Doc?)

I called her on Monday. (I figured I'd be more of a Challenge if I waited an extra day). She seemed excited to hear from me, and I made a date to pick her up on Thursday night for dinner and dancing at this new club downtown.

Then, on Wednesday night, the night before our date, just as I was about to hit the sack right around 10:30, she calls. She said that had gone jogging in the park the night before and had gotten caught in the rain and got chilled and was now is starting to feel like she was getting a bad cold.

She said that she waited until the "last minute" to call me to see if taking lots of vitamin C and herbs would nip it in the bud but that she was now actually feeling worse. She said she knew that she just wouldn't be in any condition to go out let alone go dancing and that she was also afraid that I might catch something from her and that she didn't want to make me sick.

She sounded really sorry and disappointed and said that she "definitely" wanted to "reschedule" as soon as she's out of the woods so to speak. I said that I was sorry that she wasn't feeling well and that we should talk when she's feeling better.

So what do you think, Doc? Is she on the up and up, and how do you think I should handle this?

Reed - who wants to know what you think

Hi Reed,

First, let me compliment you for being so bold and resourceful. That 'gum chewing' line was great. Very creative. You took something that was going on in the immediate environment and parlayed it into a 'funny.' Learning to think on your feet like that is part of what it takes to become what I call a Three-Percenter. (One of the 3% of guys who have true mastery with women.)

You could have said the same thing to a different woman, and she would have given you the cold shoulder; but your miss "Dusty" liked your wit and that's all that counts. You took the shot, and you hit the bullseye. You made a connection with and got a viable home phone number from a woman who was a complete stranger. Not an easy thing to do. Great work.

And, yes, I do concur with your initial analysis that this gal was demonstrating a high level of interest in you. Why do I say that? When she reached for a pen before you could even locate yours, that was significant. But the strongest positve flag she revealed was that she gave you a very specific time to call her so that you would be able to reach her easily. To you psych majors, women help you when they like you.

In spite of all that, it was still a smart move on your part to not call her on the exact day and time that she suggested. If you call precisely when a woman suggests after you first meet her, it's to easy to come off as obedient and boring. While you waited that extra day to call, Reed, Dusty's Interest Level in you was rising because you added in an extra sprinkle of that magical mystery dust: Challenge.

Now lets get to the meat of the matter. Is she really sick OR as they do at Burger King, is she trying to sell you a whopper? Short of stalking her or sending a medical team over to examine her, we can't know for certain one way or another. But due to the strength of her initial buying signals, we're going to give her two things: the benefit of the doubt and another chance.

At the same time, just to let her know that you didn't buy her excuse 100% and that you know that she might have made the whole thing up, we're going to add extra time before we call her and make another date. The idea is to wait beyond the time that she would realistically be over her cold, at least two weeks. (If she gets better quickly and is chompin' at the bit to go out with you, she can always pick up the phone.)

If you call her too soon, Reed, you'll be indirectly telling her that it's all right to jerk you around. So for now, put her on the back burner and keep getting more phone numbers. You've obviously got the level of confidence required. Go get em' Tiger!

Remember, guys: you don't know what's what until you get past 60 days with her.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at or call (800)  404-2644.

Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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