Building Attraction Through Tension Loops
One of my maxims for ATRACTING women is to make them ABC
to make them ALWAYS BE
In my book I call this PRIZING.
PRIZING women is important because when you do things to make women chase you they will
begin to see you as a PRIZE they want to win over.
One technique for PRIZING I talk about in my book is Open Loop.
An Open Loop is an unfinished thought or story. So, within the context of ATTRACTING
women, some examples of open loops are:
When a man tells a woman a really juicy story and just at the point that she really starts
to get into the story, he intentionally withholds the conclusion from her.
When a man acts as if he knows something about a woman but when she asks him what it is he
refuses to tell her.
Are you guys starting to get why open loops are so powerful?
They are powerful because they leave women wanting and reaching for more.
And when women are wanting and reaching for more, they are CHASING us.
I have noticed a few of the guys who have recently purchased my book have spawned quite a
few online discussions on open loops.
This is great because it tells me that guys are really getting out there and using the
ideas in my book.
Recently I have been thinking a lot about the psychological mechanism behind open loops:
What is it about open loops that cause women to want and reach for more?
And about a month ago it dawned on me while watching TV. I was watching a television show
that I did not find terribly interesting, and out of nowhere the power went out. The weird
thing was that inside I felt this emotional want to find out the conclusion to
a TV show I did not even find interesting. But the more I thought about this the more I
realized that I did not really want to find out what happened, but wanted closure and
Even though the show was not very good, it had created some unresolved emotional tension
in me. The power going out made me aware of my need to release, resolve, and bring closure
to this tension.
So, what I have discovered is that the psychological mechanism behind open loops is in
creating unresolved emotional tension.
What I have realized is that besides using open loops, there are literally hundreds of
ways of creating, and increasing unresolved emotional tension.
Doing this is what I call a Tension Loop. The structure of a Tension Loop is
to first do something that creates unresolved emotional tension.
For example, you could do this by using an open loop: an unfinished story or thought.
Or you could do this by creating a barrier between you and a woman. If you have chemistry
with a woman you might want to hint that there is already a woman in your life, planting
the seed in her mind that even though you and her like each other, it probably will not
work out between the both of you because you are already taken.
Or you could feign being really offended by something a woman does or says. If she asks
you, What do you do for a living? you could hasten back with, I am not
the guy who used to work with you at Mc. Donalds, and if we ever hang out there is
to be no talk about your career path at McDonalds
I wouldnt want you to
embarrass me in front of my friends.
Or you could do something to invalidate a woman, such as, acting unimpressed with her or
even hinting at not liking her.
Now once you have created this tension loop inside a woman, you can keep going with it:
you can build it larger and more intense.
For example, if you create a tension loop by acting offended by something a woman says or
does, you can make that tension loop larger and more intense by continuing to act
But at a certain point, you need to close the tension loop-bring some resolution, release,
or closure to it.
I have found that people who are effective at using tension loops-for example, auspicious
writers and marketers - all follow a similar structure:
1) They do or say something to create the tension loop
2) They keep going with what they said or did, making the tension loop larger
3) They do something to close the tension loop; bring some release or resolution to it
4) They open it back up, but just a little bit.
Also, have you ever noticed that this is the structure of many great movies? Think about
it: many great movies start off with a tension loop by introducing some kind of conflict
or drama. Then, the tension loop increases up until the point of the climax. Then the
tension loop is closed by bringing some resolution to the conflict or drama. And, finally,
the movie ends by either the tension loop being opened back up or a new tension loop
opening up. This makes the movie watcher want to see the sequel.
Lets now look at an example of sparking a tension loop, building it, closing it, and then
opening up a new tension loop - but just a little bit.
A few days ago, after exchanging some light banter with a woman, I said to her, You
I dont like you
She gave me a flabbergasted look and panted, What! (Being the attractive woman
that she was, she had probably never had anyone say this to her before).
I had sparked a tension loop in her.
Next I made the tension loop bigger by saying, Im sorry, that probably came
off wrong. Let me be more specific: I really dont like you.
Here I was making the tension loop larger: intensifying all of that unresolved emotional
tension inside her. Now although this is very powerful, you do not want to create so much
tension that she snaps -you do not want to PUSH her away completely. So the idea is to
take her to the edge - or close to it. It is similar to kids blowing bubbles. They want to
blow as much air into the bubble to ensure that it is as big as possible, but if they blow
too much air into the bubble it will pop. This takes practice, and you really have to
learn to observe how much emotional tension she is experiencing at any given moment.
Then I said to her, And the reason I dont like you is that you remind me of
this girl Miranda whom I hated in the second grade. I hated her because she used to always
beat me at hot hands (BTW, hot hands is a game that children play.).
Then I challenged her to a game of hot hands, defeated her quickly, and gloated,
I am the winner, and, actually, I like you now
since you really stink
at hot hands.
So here I closed the tension loop by bringing resolution and release to her emotional
tension. And then I opened a new loop - just a little bit - by telling her that she stinks
at hot hands.
There is a lot of psychologically going on here. And in this newsletter I am only
scratching the surface of what I am doing. I am going to do another newsletter soon, where
I will go a lot deeper into the psychological mechanisms of tension loops.
But if you are really interested in mastering the techniques for triggering these
underlying psychological mechanisms in women come visit me at:
P.S.-If you have a question for me, please email me at: email@example.com
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