Make Them Strive To Earn The Prize
Due to the nature of my book I get a lot of e-mails from customers who have a great many
personal questions that need some special tender-loving care. One in particular caught my
attention and touches on a subject I think is REALLY important, so I wanted to share it
I'm trying to figure out why this girl I have been seeing will no longer kiss me,
considering that a few months back she let me both kiss and have oral sex with her. After
coming home and sleeping next to me two weekends ago, she told me she'll be ready to have
sex in about two months. Last weekend I drove to her in Irvine for a dinner and movie. She
paid for dinner (I offered money and she declined, I told her I'm glad she makes good
money so she can support me), and I paid for the movie but she got us half price with a
I'm hanging in there because I really like her and want her to take me to China in April
for business and fun, so I don't want to screw it up. I don't mind not having sex as I get
that from my SF girlfriend, but at least some kissing and loving would be nice!!! I don't
know how to handle her to create more attraction but I have stopped trying to get any
kisses, but I'm not cold to her either. I don't know how much to stand off, I don't want
to give the wrong idea. Obviously she still likes me and considers me or she wouldn't
waste another date with me.
Thanks for any help,
-A from CA
My first thought was: "Can I come to China too? I've always wanted eat dog
tail. But then I remembered that dog tail is served in Thailand, not China.
But my second thought is the one I want to talk about more. First off, I am really in awe
of this guy for having the courage to ask for help. For many, asking for help can be a
humbling experience yet it is one of the best ways to take a giant step towards massive
success in life. I know that back when I first started learning about this stuff, I would
have never had the guts to reach out and ask for help in this way. So, this guy is a
better man than I was when I first started learning this stuff.
Also, I really liked when he told her: I'm glad you make good money so you can
support me. This was great because he communicated the message that he was the
PRIZE. I'm going to have to steal that the next time I'm out! LOL!
But the crux of the issue here (and this is something almost ALL guys overlook in their
interactions with women) is less about trying to create more ATTRACTION, and more about
being conscious of, and in control of, the underlying meaning of your interactions
Before I explain what I mean by this, I am going to digress by telling you a little story:
A few nights ago I was sitting around with some friends talking about what triggers
attraction in females. One of the people there, a female exotic dancer, jumped into the
conversation by saying, You guys are thinking about this all wrong: Women are
attracted to men who dont try to attract them. And the guys who do try to attract
them become un-attractive by doing so!"
Maybe I had lost mind due to her slipping something funny into my drink, but she started
to make a whole lot of sense. I think there is a lot of subtle, yet fundamental,
psychology going on here, and brings up 2 specific points that I think most guys need to
be conscious of:
1) When men try to make a woman attracted to them it implies that they
are more attracted to the woman than the woman is to themit communicates that they
believe she is of greater value than themselves. Put in other words, the FRAME being
setthe underlying meaning of the interactionis that she is the PRIZE to be won
2) Attraction is less about a judgment a person makes about you and more
about what you make that persons mind and body do.
So, when men do things to get women to see them as ATTRACTIVE or more PRIZABLEsuch
as, trying to impress them with their money, or trying to be funnythey are giving
the woman the power of being the judge in the interaction. This is bad because the only
one whose attraction increases is the man.
Perhaps this is why women are attracted to men who are indifferent and have high
standards. This sort of man cares less if the woman is into him. Instead he is busy
figuring out if she QUALIFIES as the sort of woman he finds attractive.
Often times this makes the woman try to prove to him that she is ATTRACTIVE. Think about
what this man is doing to this womans mind and body. Think about what is happening
to her. She is becoming, often times unknowingly, ATTRACTED to him.
So, my advice to you is to firstly, have really high standards with your interactions with
women. Convey the message to them that if she falls short of your standards and
expectations, they will blow their chances with you. This will set the frame that you are
judging them, not the other way around.
Secondly, be indifferent to them. Convey to them that it will be no loss at all if they
blow their chances with you (in fact, this would be a convenience considering that it
would give you more time to do other things). So, the attitude towards them should be: one
way or the other IT DOESNT REALLTY MATTER.
Thirdly, always be aware of the underlying meaning of your interaction with them. If you
ever find yourself trying to make them see you as attractive, or allowing them to
disrespect you, or letting them judge you, they are controlling the frame. And, if you
want them to be attracted to you, you need to take back control of the frame. This means
upping your standards with them and becoming even more indifferent towards them.
Fourthly, reread the chapters in my book on Beliefs, Frames, and Qualifying &
Challenging if you want to know more about this. These chapters cover those topics IN
DEPTH! And the only place you can find them detailed in such a down-to-earth manner is in
to Real World Seduction. In fact, I feel sorry for anyone who DOESN'T have my book, since
they are most likely not enjoying as much success with women as they could be if they took
their first step to getting that part of their life in order by picking up a copy at:
'Till next time,
P.S. -If you have a success story you would like to share, or a question you would like to
ask, or a comment you would like to make, please email me at:
Include the fist initial of your first and last name. And include the country,
state/province, and city you live in.
This whole "learning" thing goes both ways, you know! Oh, and be sure not to
just hit "reply" to this email, because I won't get it! Thanks!
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