Respect the Process...
Lately, a lot of the questions many of you have been sending me relate to a specific issue
- one that hits very close to home for
me. The heart of this matter is less obvious to most men than an insect flying towards an
ultraviolet bug zapper, thinking, the light is
so beautiful!... zap!
For many, dating and attracting women is about the male ego at war in the singles scene
trenches. I spent a lot of time coming from
this place, deterring me from the massive success with women I desperately sought after.
My big breakthrough - transforming me from an average Waldo into a rock star with women -
came when I adopted a single mindset. But before I tell you what this mindset is, let's
take a look at two categories of mindsets that can sabotage a man's success with women.
The first category relates to men believing that their lack of success with women is due
to their own shortcomings. I get questions, for
example, from guys asking if the reason why such-and-such girl doesn't like them is
because they are bald, or short, or old, or gauche, or
blessed with an unfunny wit, or as sexy as a hairy mole...or whatever. These emails break
my heart because I spent many years coming from the same place. I think most of us to some
extent have. Maybe it comes from some unfounded myth in our culture, disseminated by
media, school, parents and friends, purporting: if someone is of perceived higher value
than you, they are not allowed to be attracted to you. I don't know? But I do know one
thing: the same type of women I once felt unworthy of, are now very attracted to me. I,
furthermore, have short, bald, fat, broke friends who are constantly attracting beautiful,
sophisticated, intelligent, wealthy women. Are you becoming a little suspicious of
this cultural myth? Good!
The second category relates to men believing that their lack of success with women is due
to something in their external environment. One
mindset that fits into this category is the belief that certain venues are not only
difficult but next to impossible to attract women in. I once had
a mentor, for example, who told me that bars and nightclubs are unfeasible environments
for a man to attract women, unless he is wealthy, famous, or model good looking. And that
the vast majority of women dwelling in these venues are either gold diggers, party girls,
drug addicts, or have a personality that rhymes with witch (Looking back, I now realize
that the source of his bitterness towards women in bars was probably a result of his own
social ineptitude - sad!).
He went on to tell me that a viable solution is to meet women in coffee shops and
bookstores. This is great if you live in a place where bookstores are the happening place
for attractive women to hang out. This, however, was not so for me. If I wanted to meet
three or four attractive women, I would have to spend hours waiting. I suspect that I was
not alone - I bet many other places in the world are similar. At night, however, I
occasionally would join my friends at bars and nightclubs. These places were filled to the
gills with attractive women. I would, unfortunately, remember my mentor's far from sage
caveat: It is next to impossible to attract women in bars. And then sit there
like a Waldo watching my very average looking friends ATTRACT these beautiful women. I
know now that I was limiting my possibilities of meeting desirable women. The higher
number of attractive women at a venue, the more possibilities you will have for attracting
women you desire. It's
not that bars and nightclubs are always the best places to meet women - there are
exceptions. But to rule out environments full of attractive women - such, bars and clubs -
because of your own insecurities is to limit your own possibilities of ATTRACTING
desirable women. Oh, by the way, many of the women who go to bars and nightclubs are
neither gold diggers nor party girls nor drug addicts. Surprisingly many are
sophisticated, intelligent women.
Notice with both mindset categories, a person projects an external barrier into the world
that often times is nothing more than a figment of his
imagination. These barriers are like a dark depressing cloud looming over him.
So this begs the question: What is the proper mindset to have?
The proper mindset is about:
1) Purging your self of worries both about your own shortcomings and possible barriers in
the external environment.
2) Focusing on creating the emotion in her body of wanting and reaching for more of you
(In my book, Real World Seduction, I calling this
3) Focusing on controlling the META-FRAME: the underlying meaning of the interaction.
As I have said in the past: ATTRACTION is not how a woman judges you, it is what you do to
her mind and body. The body part is creating the emotion inside her of wanting
and reaching for more of you; while the mind part is you controlling the
underlying meaning of the
When your mindset (or concern) is nothing more than both getting women so emotionally
charged they are wanting and reaching for you, and defining the META-FRAME as you being
the one who is the PRIZE in the interaction, you will be well on your way to being a rock
star with women.
On more than one occasion I have seen a guy doing fantastic with a woman - he was getting
her so emotionally charged she was chasing him and he was defining the META-FRAME as him
being the PRIZE in the interaction. But then something happened, such as, another guy came
up and started talking to the woman he was attracting so well. Instead of keeping his
composure, he stood their nervously, buckling
completely. The women intuitively picked up on his fear and the attraction was lost - she
no longer felt COMPELLED to CHASE him, and no longer saw him as the PRIZE. Her whole
experience with this poor guy had now been recontextualized. Even though this woman was
feeling attraction for this guy - I know she was because I saw it with my own eyes - she
would soon rationalize to herself, for example, that she was never attracted to him in the
first place. If he had tried to reinitiate conversation in a Waldo-esque way, she might
have responded with something like: You are a loser; I would never sleep with you in
a million years. But this would only be her rationalizing in retrospect. Had he
triggered the right emotions in her again and taken back control of the META-FRAME, she
might have slept with him. And afterwards, rationalized how wonderful he was.
In my book I spell out in great detail the process for creating attraction between you and
another woman. There are many other systems out there that claim to teach this. But what
they suggest comes across so socially awkward it is kind of like trying to squeeze a
square peg into a round hole. Not the case with what you will learn from me. What I teach
is comes from watching people who have exquisite social
skills. So, you won't be doing anything that comes across as socially weird or awkward.
I'll teach you how to develop your own personality in a way that will not only make you
more attractive to women; it will make you more likable with each and every person you
come into contact with. Take a giant step towards the life you deserve by checking out my
A friend of mine suggested that I include a couple of
the questions and comments I get from people in my
newsletters. So, I am taking his advice and will be
including two to three of these emails in my
I thought id give you an email here and let you know
what i thought of the ebook so far.
I have to say its the most impressive book i have ever
read. after four years of working with only **** ****
(I took out the name because I don't believe in
bashing my competitors. But the guy he mentioned is a
fairly well known seduction guru) i picked up a lot of
things but wasn't successful with it like he said
everyone would be. I thought it was interesting that
everything i didn't know for four years, everything
that he didn't tell, or would show or explain or
whatever was answered in your book.
**** is decent, ***** **** is better than him, but
your book is leagues beyond any of their work. I was
particularly impressed with the chapters on frames. in
two years of trying to understand frames and how to
use them, what they meant in various ways, i never got
most of the picture (through the ** ** videos or
michael halls books,)
Your chapter on frames fixed two years of confusion.
period. damn it .. how dare you do that to me!!! Your
one sentence on if she is in your frame or you are in
hers is the most striking profound sentence I've had
the pleasure to read. The chapters on designing the
meta-frame to operate out of and the frames that imply
the meta-frame are sheer brilliance and are worth many
many times more then the book itself.
I should know that because before i bought the book, i
had 125 dollars to spend on the direction i wanted to
explore. one option was to spend it on one of ****'s
students who do seduction consulting (i wont name
anyone in particular) or to buy the book. I can
honestly say if the book had been the same price as
the consulting and i knew what i know now, I
wouldn't have spent five seconds deciding to buy it
Thanks for doing what most could not or would not or
chose not to because of their own greed. Thank you.
- O from Minnesota
I have to say, comments like this make me feel that all
my time and effort is worthwhile - thank you!
The money from the book has not made me rich but it has
given me the time to go out and research, furthering
the development of this realm of psychology and
If you liked my book, some of the stuff I am currently
working on will blow your mind! - I'm talking a real
It's funny because some people are anti spending money
on commercial products of this genre. They feel like
their money is being taken from them. And I think this is
a viable concern: There are some charlatans out there
looking to steal people's money. But, at the same time,
there are also guys out there who are the real deal. If
these guys don't get paid their research significantly
slows down. Spending some cash isn't a bad thing. You
get knowledge in return, and are giving research money
to this field, which in turn furthers its development -
it's a win-win deal!
Hey whats up Swinggcat, wow I gotta tell you, your book
rocks!!! I went out with my cousin to have some drinks..
I entered the bar with the meta-frame set. I was laid
back, having fun and not looking at the girls... then went
to dance with a girl, cold read her. I took your advice
from the first chapters of your book and decided I wasnt going
to lean in to talk to women at bars no matter how loud
music was... that was my goal of the week. they lean in
to hear me! and I saw my cousin bored so I told her,
"hey gotta check on my cousin, we will dance later" (hands
motion on later) Then he approaches some girls and I
was there dancing alone and having fun not looking at
girls... and some girl that walked behind me pinched
me... I noticed out of the corner of my eye some chick
dancing with her arm extended... oh oh... she was
inviting me to dance in front of the whole bar and
grabbed her hand and she pulled me towards the dance
floor... every girl is watching me by now... they
get me drinks...
Then the girl I blew off earlier came and danced into
me all sexy and tried to kiss me... hahaha!
at the end of party the chick grabbed my hand and
pulled me with her to the exit of bar... some GF of
hers tries to prevent me from leaving with her. I leave
bar with my cousin who is with 2 chicks and im with 2
chicks... the girl that pinched my back earlier wants
to leave with us... the other girl comes and says...
dont leave me lets continue this... the pinched girl
says: Every girl in here wants to leave with you!...
Long story short we leave and the dancing girl is
grabbing my hand and begging me to get in a cab with
her and go home with her!!! wow Swinggcat you da man!!!
In that bar I was sexier than James Dean, and I was
wearing jeans with sneakers and an old knit. thnx
Swinggcat hope to hear from you soon!
- A from Columbia
You are really starting to put into practice the info in
my book - rock on!
You did a lot great stuff here.
I went out with my cousin to have some drinks.. I
entered the bar with the meta-frame set.
I bet just setting the meta-frame - that you are the
PRIZE no matter what - made a huge difference.
I took your advice from the first chapters of your book
and decided I wasnt going to lean in to talk to women
at bars no matter how loud music was... that was my
goal of the week. they lean in to hear me!"
Bro, this is huge: Making women lean in to you is one of
the easiest ways to control the Meta-Frame.
I leave the bar with my cousin who is with 2 chicks and
im with 2 chicks... the girl that pinched my back earlier
wants to leave with us... the other girl comes and says...
dont leave me lets continue this... the pinched girl says:
Every girl in here wants to leave with you!...
Dude, this is great. I think many guys are coming from a
place of not even being able to fathom the possibility of
what I suspect is becoming your everyday reality.
I find that the better I get at using the meta-frame,
the more powerful my reality becomes. It seems to get
easier and easier to suck girls into my reality. Do you
find this too? Anyway, this is all in my book, and if
you are ready to take a giant step towards massive
success with women, come check it out:
'Till next time,
P.S.-If you have a success story you would like to share, or a question you would like to
ask, or a comment you would like to make, please email me at:email@example.com
Include the fist initial of your first and last name. And include the country,
state/province, and city you live in.
This whole "learning" thing goes both ways, you know! Oh, and be sure not to
just hit "reply" to this email, because I won't get it!
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